I heard FedEx and UPS are going to merge.... and call the new company FedUp... 
Best Joke you heard lately
- Thread starter Cola83
- Start date
Spilt yogurt all over the Ouija board.
That'll teach me not to dabble with the yakult.
That'll teach me not to dabble with the yakult.
If anyone has ever seen the movie Memphis Bell, there is a joke on there that is always my go-to when someone asks for a joke. I have altered it a little for context:
It's WWII, and the Americans are bombing Germany. A B-17 bomber is shot down, and one of the crew escapes and parachutes into Germany. He is severely injured, and quickly captured. He is taken to a German hospital where he is treated, and the doctor tells him he must amputate his arm. The American asks that his arm be shipped back to his base in England, so that it can be sent home to his family. The Germans think about this and finally say they will do it. A few days later, they must amputate his other arm, and he again asks for it to be sent to England, again they agree. A few days later they must amputate his leg, and so again he asks for it to be sent to England. This time they say "NO! This we cannot do anymore!" So the American asks why, and the Germans respond "We think you are trying to escape!!"
It's WWII, and the Americans are bombing Germany. A B-17 bomber is shot down, and one of the crew escapes and parachutes into Germany. He is severely injured, and quickly captured. He is taken to a German hospital where he is treated, and the doctor tells him he must amputate his arm. The American asks that his arm be shipped back to his base in England, so that it can be sent home to his family. The Germans think about this and finally say they will do it. A few days later, they must amputate his other arm, and he again asks for it to be sent to England, again they agree. A few days later they must amputate his leg, and so again he asks for it to be sent to England. This time they say "NO! This we cannot do anymore!" So the American asks why, and the Germans respond "We think you are trying to escape!!"
Heard this one on the radio the other day (it's a little PG-13 ):
What does a robot do after sex?
Nuts and bolts
What does a robot do after sex?
Nuts and bolts
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