The Goof 20X5

[Rollo75]

Round 1 - Keilor 300 - Calder Park Thunderdome

For season 20X5, fifteen different manufacturers threw their hat into the ring; ten of them in an official capacity. Owing to the fact that there have now been more than a hundred Brilliant Resources 11 chassis built to date, manufacturers and small teams were attracted to the plug and play aspect of the car. Perhaps of most note was that McAlpine Motorsport has decided to brand their car as McAlpine, and Team MAD and Eggman Industries have also decided to go it alone and build their Jupiter Motor Corps (JMC) engines and key components in house.

The A-Heat Race:

Team objected to having to start the season in snow in 20X4; so for 20X5, the decision was made to hold the first part of the new season in the Australian summer. This was a bad idea. The Australian summer proved to be as hard on tyres as Phoenix in summer; this meant that Thursday practice resulted in tyre degradation which chewed through rubber at an alarming rate. Teams feared that they would burn through all of their allotted tyres before the Main Feature race was over.

A meeting of the Team Principals and The Goof Management, agreed to start the various races at 8pm or later; which meant that racing would take place over three nights.



If the A-Heat race was an indication of what was to follow, then we had reason to fear a series of processions. Those fears were realised. The winner of the A-Heat race was was Henri Cornelius; who qualified on pole, lead every lap, and won the race. The whole matter was resolved in exactly one corner; with Bandit Heeler's Falcon and Phil Purpura's Porsche trailing in the wake of Cornelius' McAlpine sprinting ahead.

Sitting on the outside of the front row, Ellie McIllan peeled to the top of the racetrack and slunk to the back of the field. As her car blanked out of power, she rolled around harmlessly back to the pits and made it just behind the pit wall before the momentum ran out. Thus the 20W9 champion expired without having even been credited with a single lap.



As the two heat races were only 200 miles each, there would only be a single pit stop. Most teams chose to split the race in half and putted at lap 67 of 134, though some teams who chose to roll around at the back of the field and not stress their tyres, found that every lap that they went longer would be one lap fresher on the replacement set.

Kerrod Edmundson who this season is driving for GaZ, pitted on lap 70 and found that he could streak back through the field way later in the race. His logo around long term strategy was only bettered by Kane McKane, who had his crew screaming at him over the radio until he actually did manage to blow a tyre and pitted on lap 76.

McKane's rise through the field was sharper and faster than Edmundson and on lap 130 they finally did meet on track. Edmundson who being just as old a hand at this as McKane, put up some resistance but not a lot. McKane did have to track around the outside of him; and claimed his second place relatively easily.



The surprise packet of this race was Pom Pomni, driving in the third of the Team OSKO cars. OSKO was now in command of three Racing Entitlement Contracts; which meant that they could almost go it alone, save for needing a manufacturer to supply the engines. They found this with Hatsune Miku, who had tied up a deal with BMW to brand the cars and the engines. Unlike McAlpine or JMC, the BMWs are running the unbranded Goof crate 305 which has then been rebranded.

Ugly Arbuckle put in an anonymous an entirely competent display for fourth place, having pitted on lap 66, got an undercut, and then gapped where he estimated that the field would end up on lap 67. Arbuckle basically flew past loads of pitting cars, put in a few quick laps and then held rank.

But Pom Pomni in her first start, having never seen this kind of racing before, excelled in following the cars ahead of her and following their lead. She found that she could hold station behind triple champion Dr George Claw. Claw was quite happy to keep her there as his own aerodynamic advantage was helped by the fact that his rear wing wasn't producing as much dirty-air behind him and therefore drag.

Points Awarded A-Heat Race:

5 - Henri Cornelius
3 - Kane McKane
2 - Kerrod Ednumndson
1 - Ugly Arbuckle

 

[Rollo75]

B-Heat Race:

If the A-Heat race was a quiet affair, then the B-Heat race was a positive snorer.

B101

Just like in the A-Heat race, Bob Nikoban in the Team Yellow Toyota, ran away to the front after starting from third place, and then proceeded to lead every single lap. The little pink cat, did so with almost reckless abandon and with zero care for any kind of seriousness, as he sung his way around the track for 134 times. Also having learnt that it was better to go long, rather than to cut the race in half, the slightly cooler temperatures on the Saturday night as opposed to Friday night, meant that Nikoban could ran all the way to lap 77 before he needed to pit.

He ran off into the lead, built up a massive gap while everyone else swung in and out of the pits behind him, then swung off the track and comfortably back into the lead again. This kind of chaotic disdain for the competition of course made the other teams suspicious and the No.27 machine was always going to be 'randomly selected' for tech inspection. Naturally, it passed tech inspection with no problems at all.

B102

Behind him was a civilised kind of malarkey. It would be hard to try and chase down the Toyota up front but that wouldn't stop other drivers from trying. Konata Izumi and Jeb Brown made a decent fist of it; with the American in the Dodge content to sit in behind Izumi's Volvo. It was assumed that the Volvo engine was some kind of derivative of the B8444S V8, but tech inspection revealed that none of the parts had any kind of serial numbers on them.

Brown would ultimately finish in 5th place which would be a sound result but as this is a Heat Race, points only extend down to fourth. Izumi's third place wiuld net her two points.

Of some note is Jimmy Kohler who finished fourth in his AMC Emporer. The car which is of 20X4 stock, is still a relatively new piece of kit and his forethought by pitting one lap out of step meant that he wasn't caught up in the nonsense and chicanery on pit road when the normal cycle of pit stops happened. He also couldn't catch Nikoban but at least he could see the little pink cat up front.

B103

It is not easy to have to step out of the shadows of your father when they happen to be a triple champion but that is the task that fate has assigned to Talon Claw. 20X5 would be the last year that Dr George Claw would be running; so this mean that this year would be the last chance to prove on a head to head basis, that Talon was at least up to par. 20X4 was not what Talon had hoped for; with the Doctor finishing 4th and Talon finishing a paltry 25th in the standings. This race albeit somewhat shocking, was at least a semi useful inspection run.

The JMCs at least this early in the year, were down on power and nobody really knew why. Not even the two engineering powerhouses of MAD and Eggman Industries could work out why on paper they should be getting 640bhp but in practice they were missing 40 ponies. Races are not won on paper though.

Talon altered his driving style a little in the B-Heat race because he very quickly realised that it he was down on power, then the secret to making the JMC would be to keep momentum up; so rather that accelerate and lift, he just kept the boot in and kept the car ticking over at a permanent 9200 revs. Yes it would likely burn out piston rings and value seats but they were disposable.

After seeing off most challenges in the pit cycle, Talon Claw thought he had an opportunity to inherit the leave from Nikoban when he pitted. Nikoban was not having any of that though and rather than ease into a lap to bring the car up to speed, he forced the issue and made Talon back out. It proved to be a smart move as the JMC was forced to lift and Nikoban almost immediately built up a nine second lead which would not be overhauled.

"Yeah, I did what I had to do. I don't care. You only live once...or nine times."
- Bob Nikoban, to U62-TV

Points Awarded B-Heat Race:

5 - Bob Nikoban
3 - Talon Claw
2 - Konata Izumi
1 - Jimmy Kohler

 

[Rollo75]

Main Feature Race:

As the field rolled off into Turn 1, nine different manufactures held down the top nine places. This would yet again be a race where the field sorted itself out pretty quickly and where simply holding station and maintaining speed was paramount.

M101

Stick Baja in the #6 De Walt Chevrolet took the pole on Sunday Morning but the cool of the evening meant that other cars were now producing more power that her. The orange Chevrolet wasn't even credited with leading that first lap, as the Porsche of Phil Purpura got the jump on her going into Turn 3 and consequently the whole run through the tri-oval.

Porsche has never really been that well represented in The Goof over the years and the Interscope team based in Hawaii, prepared a car with an unbranded-rebranded engine and the standard Brilliant Resources 11 chassis became the Porsche 708.

Whether it was lack of confidence in the machinery or simply a desire to bring it home on the first outing, Purpura didn't exactly run the race at the absolute break-neck speed which was required. He too gave up the lead in quick time.

M102

On lap 4 of 200, Jeb Brown in the Dodge assumed the lead and was followed in close proximity by Ziggy Moonglow. Having raced in other series, chancing their hand at The Goof must have seemed like a step into amateur hour as they very quickly found that they could just fade off into the distance.

Perhaps what neither of them had considered though, was that this 300 mile race, being just short enough to be able to run with a single pit stop, but also sufficiently short enough to be able to break into two, meant that there would be comers and goers depending on the strategy involved.

On lap 64, Ugly Arbuckle in the Chevrolet, after throwing out a bunch of blistering laps, very much showed his hand and that he would be running to a two-stop strategy. He was followed by both of the JMC's of Eggatha and Dr Ivo Robotnik who were following each other at close quarters. When all three of these drivers pitted on lap 99, they were shuffled back into the pack and once again, Moonglow and Brown inherited the lead.

This race might have been a fate accompli if it wasn't for the fact that two drivers were neither on a one or two stopper but three.

M103

Billy Highbank who had an awful qualifying run and put his Ford Falcon FH on 36th position; while Hatsune Miku's BMW M88 could do no better and started directly behind him from 38th.

With literally nothing to lose Highbank hung onto the back of the pack for a while and then realised that the only way to pass dozens of cars, would be to either go off cycle or try someone entirely different. He went with the latter. What he didn't perhaps realise was that last year's championship runner-up Hatsune Miku, was wiley enough to cotton on to what was going on and followed him.

When they pitted on Lap 50, it rocketed both of them to the cellar. When they pitted along with everyone else, on lap 100, they appeared to have a performance advantage because they were both short filled relative to everyone else. By the time that they pitted on lap 150, they were 7th and 8th respectively and thus began one of the greatest rockets back up the field in a while.

They were dumped to 30th and 31st, but by lap 160, they had already climbed all the way through the 20s. It took just 12 laps for them to climb to the single digit positions and on lap 183, they were in sight of Brown and Moonglow up front. Highbank's Falcon though, decided that it wanted to become a teapot, blew its stack, and the evil chocolate milk burst forth from the exhaust pipe.

This left Miku all by herself to challenge for the lead and she swiftly breezed past Brown on lap 186, before she and Brown ran around the outside of Moonglow going through turns 1 and 2 on lap 189. The last ten laps were a matter of reeling them off in quick succession. This was made all the more remarkable by there being three races for the weekend and zero major accidents to speak of.

"I am happy that we have started this year where we left off. A win is nice but we can't rest here. Last year showed, you can't even rest until that last lap on Daytona Beach."
- Hatsune Miku to 1062 Sport Radio

Points Awarded Main Feature Race:

20 Hatsune Miku
17 Jeb Brown
14 Ziggy Moonglow
12 Marnie Roxy
10 Dale Tona
8 Bandit Heeler
6 Xavier Zangoose
5 Oglivy Hedgehog
4 Ugly Arbuckle
3 Dr Ivo Robotnik
2 Hochi Samyang
1 Kurt Langer

Top 19 After 1 Round:

20 Hatsune Miku
17 Jeb Brown
14 Ziggy Moonglow
12 Marnie Roxy
10 Dale Tona
8 Bandit Heeler
6 Xavier Zangoose
5 Henri Cornelius
5 Ugly Arbuckle
5 Bob Nikoban
5 Oglivy Hedgehog
3 Kane McKane
3 Talon Claw
3 Dr Ivo Robotnik
2 Kerrod Edumndson
2 Konata Izumi
2 Hochi Samyang
1 Jimmy Kohler
1 Kurt Langer

Round 2 will be held in two week's time on Jan 26th, at Sandown.

 

[Rollo75]

Round 2 - The Sandown 200

Owing to the design of the calendar for 20X5, teams only had a one hour drive from Calder Park Thunderdome to Sandown. Many teams didn't even bother to change accommodation, after deciding that a long stay in Melbourne was a good idea.



The first surprise of the weekend was when Walter Kronkyet after having a series of engine faults in Friday practice and then being entirely absent for Saturday morning practice, went out in Saturday Qualifying and put the GAZ on the top of the standings. Engineers pored over the red machine and eventually decided that their only hope was to throw the engine away and install a brand new one. During Kronkyet's qualifying lap, the engine management was spitting out a constant stream of error codes and fault reports; but Kronkyet who was employing Russian stubbornness, simply ignored the warnings and got one flying lap in.

The race which was slated for 104 laps, was an entirely different animal and while Kronkyet had the pace, it became very obvious very quickly that the car had been trimmed back and that even minor disturbances would upset the aero package. Kronkyet surrendered the lead on lap 4 to James Kojira, and then fell back to seventh in fairly quick time. The saving grace of having a fast car in a straight line at Sandown, is that with the long straights, Kronkyet had the speed to take positions back if a pure footrace was involved; even if the car handled like a greased pig at slow speeds.



There would be only a single set of pitstops and they happened from lap 50 onwards. Kojira who had pulled out a fairly decent lead, was the first to break off and he hoped to get an undercut. Kojira shuffled back into tenth place; which was not exactly the best place in the world to file back into.

Kojira found himself in the middle of a multi-way dogfight between Robie Robie, Finn Mertins, Ricardo Sasquini and Gary Kingston, and it was clear that they were not going to let him get away with anything. Finn Mertins who was only in his second ever race at this level, was able to hold his own fairly well against seasoned combatants like Robie and Sasquini; to the point where even though they were prepared to lean on his door handles, he was not afraid to bump them back. Konata Izumi as Team Principal and Lead Engineer for the Volvo Team, was rapidly learning a lot about this V8 and Mertins who didn't know any different, didn't complain about the still apparent inadequacies of the engine. Mertins would bring the No.46 Volvo home in a credible ninth.

As cars pulled off the circuit though, Kojira gained back the positions that he lost without having to fight for any of them. Kojira would pass Cornelius, Robie, Ankha, McAlpine and Kronkyet and climb all the way back to second place but the leader was well outside of his sights and unlikely to be caught unless there was a caution.



Indeed there was such a caution on lap 87 when Paxton Mann while trying to keep Dr George Claw at bay, was punted off by the triple champion. Claw had evidently had enough of looking at the BASF Falcon; so applied the bumper going over the rise on the back straight. This caused Langer's car to get really loose in the braking zone and he unceremoniously speared off and beached the car.

After the field was reracked, Kojira did get a chance to see who the leader was and it was none other than Tse Sakamoto. Sakamoto upon realising that there was a possibility of gaining the lead, absolutely shredded his set of Goodyears and by the time that he did come into the pits, he had worn them down to the cords. The Mazda pit crew, working ever as always like lightning, managed to put him back into the lead, who at that time was Robie Robie before the little yellow robot also peeled off to the pits.

There was little that Kojira could do in mounting any kind of useful attack. Sakamoto now every bit the accomplished pilot, made his defence of the lead look effortless. The 20X2 Champion having already learned how to do this once, made no mistakes in firstly shutting the door going into the first turn, then holding centre going into the turn at Dandenong Road, and then letting the car wash over the Esses before the turn for at Bridge.

Indeed the two remarkable things of the day were that Mazda managed to not only win the race but bring all four of their cars home in the points. Likewise, McAlpine also managed to bring three of four cars home in the point. These feats were slightly more amazing in that Sandown, which has a short pit lane, has a starting field of 31 rather than the full 42.

"The car felt really easy to drive today. It just did things that I asked of it. We were only beaten by the Mazda team, who did all the little things just that little bit better. I'm happy with that result."
- James Kojira, to U62 TV.

"It's always good to put points on the board. They can't take them away from us. We'll be working hard to achieve another championship but this is a good start."
- Tse Sakamoto, to U-62 TV.




Points Awarded Round 2:

20 - Tse Sakamoto
17 - James Kojira
14 - Walter Kronkyet
12 - Kayleigh McAlpine
10 - Chloe Ankha
8 - Robie Robie
6 - Henri Cornelius
5 - Greg Rellings
4 - Finn Mertins
3 - Eggatha Robotnik
2 - Ricardo Sasquini
1 - Kurt Langer

Top 20 After 2 Rounds:

20 - Hatsune Miku
20 - Tse Sakamoto
17 - Jeb Brown
17 - James Kojira
14 - Ziggy Moonglow
14 - Walter Kronkyet
12 - Marnie Roxy
12 - Kayleigh McAlpine
11 - Henri Cornelius
10 - Dale Tona
10 - Chloe Ankha
8 - Bandit Heeler
8 - Robie Robie
6 - Xavier Zangoose
5 - Ugly Arbuckle
5 - Bob Nikoban
5 - Oglivy Hedgehog
5 - Greg Rellings
4 - Finn Mertins
3 - Kane McKane

Round 3 will be held at Bathurst in two weeks' time on 9th Feb.

 

[Rollo75]

Round 3 - Bathurst 250

The third Australian round in the opening leg of the 20X5 season, happened at Bathurst. This was unusual as thing marks the first time in a long time when Bathurst has not been a double points round. It would be 64 laps and 250 miles, which meant that this would be a pure sprint race, cut neatly in half with pitstops happening on lap 32.



As they thundered over the mountain for the first time, Kayleigh McAlpine in her own branded machine, led away from Hatsunke Miku, Marnie Roxy, Kane McKane and Robie Robie. McAlpine assumed that to win this race, she would have to lead every lap as rain was predicted later on in the afternoon and once it hit, all bets were off.

Bathurst is a power circuit and speeds in excess of 180mph can be expected going down Conrod Straight before the kink through the chase. Coming back up the mountain, torque takes over and cars that can drag themselves up the hill as efficiently as possible usually do well. McAlpine would be there or thereabouts for most of the day, and never suck below 5th place in the standings. She would only be passed in the pits, and then once on track at the end of the race when Paxton Mann was able to conserve his tyres on the Toyota better. As for Miku, her fate was also mostly determined by the pitstops and she would also only be passed on track by a single car.


M2

That single car was driven by none other than Dr Ivo Robotnik. In what surely must be the tail end of his career, he proved that he still has quite a number of tricks up his sleeve and quite a lot of fight left in him. Before the round of pitstops, he was 7th. When he left pit road, he was 4th. By the time that he made to the rise half way up Mountain Straight, he was already in second. That left only his daughter and reigning series champion Eggatha Robotnik, in front of him.

Now whether or not she pulled to the right hand side of the road to cover the line going into Griffin's Bend, or whether she pulled to the right hand side of the road to let papa through is unknowable, but what is knowable is that the Doctor in the No.13 machine, bumped her before the Bend, and then drove around the outside of her before streaking away to the cutting. This was on Lap 33 and he was never actually seen again.

The 13 car pulled out of a lead of 90 seconds by the end of the race and was in danger of meeting backmarkers; so he backed off a little towards the end. As for Eggatha, she would have to deal with the chasing BMW of Hatsune Miku by herself; which scarcely seemed that much of a challenge if her father was posting rolling purple sectors.



Arguably this was where the interest of the race lied. With Dr Ivo Robotnik long gone and the margin of distance resting between about fifteen and ten seconds, it would come down to tyre management and traffic management if applicable. Traffic management was irrelevant as it turned out, as this 3.9 mile geographical oddity would not throw up anything strange today. This was a 64 lap, green flag run from flag to flag.

The actual difference between the JMC and the BMW was minimal. The only real reason why Miku was able to bridge the gap in the closing stages of the race, was that she was prepared to run 4th and 5th gear going through MacPhillamy Park whereas Eggatha only kept the car in 4th because she wanted the extra control going into Skyline. That one difference meant that Miku was putting a smidgeon less load through the tyres going through MacPhillamy; which meant that on lap 62 of 64, she had eaten out 0.5 of a second per lap over 20 laps. When they finally met going into Murray's Corner, Eggatha didn't even put up a fight; because she knew that 14 points for 3rd place were preferable to 0 if the car was binned.

Behind them was Paxton Mann in the Toyota; who was quietly following Miku at a distance. He would not make it to the back bumper of the JMC and instead, settled for fourth place.

If there were any other notable stories in the day's proceedings, it was that Robie Robie expressed extreme worry after passing Kane McKane in the pits; whom he assumed was going to finish in the Top 5. What had happened to McKane was that he had briefly bruised a steering arm after getting too excited coming out of the Cutting and the crew held him there so that they could have a look. He has a frustrating afternoon and finished a pointless 13th.

Bandit Heeler who could have potentially finished in fourth behind Paxton Mann, misjudged his line through Murray's Corner; so turned right to head up the escape road before flick turning the car and rejoining in 8th where he remained.

Dr Ivo Robotnik, clearly hot and bothered, arrived at the press box after the race and appeared to be suffering from heat exhaustion.
"I'd like to thank... Nachos! I must have Nachos!"
- Dr Ivo Robotnik, to U62-TV.

Points Awarded Round 3:

20 - Dr Ivo Robotnik
17 - Hatsune Miku
14 - Eggatha Robotnik
12 - Paxton Mann
10 - Kayleigh McAlpine
8 - Marnie Roxy
6 - Dr George Claw
5 - Bandit Heeler
4 - Robie Robie
3 - Ugly Arbuckle
2 - Kuki Muensta
1 - Koffing

Top 20 After 3 Rounds:

37 - Hatsune Miku
23 - Dr Ivo Robotnik
22 - Kayleigh McAlpine
20 - Tse Sakamoto
20 - Marnie Roxy
17 - Jeb Brown
17 - James Kojira
17 - Eggatha Robotnik
14 - Ziggy Moonglow
14 - Walter Kronkyet
13 - Bandit Heeler
12 - Robie Robie
12 - Paxton Mann
11 - Henri Cornelius
10 - Dale Tona
10 - Chloe Ankha
8 - Ugly Arbuckle
6 - Xavier Zangoose
6 - Dr George Claw
5 - Bob Nikoban

The Goof circus travels to Japan and the Three Sevens Speedway for Round 4, in two weeks' time.

 

[Jebrown]

Well, the #99 team slipped again in the points race today. It's a shame, as we practiced so hard and It's our dream to win here someday. Let's keep our heads held high fellas...we're off to Japan!

 

[Rollo75]

Round 4 - The Triple Seven 250

The teams arrived in Japan on Wednesday and found that as it had been snowing in Niigata, moving haulers down the highway was not as easy as it should be. When the undercard races happened on Friday morning, red and yellow flags were shown as the surface had been iced over. By the afternoon, the surface had normalised but with temperatures hovering in the low single digits Celsius, it meant that tyres would not be at their optimum.

On Saturday, the two Holdens of Robie Robie and Jack Raymond locked out the front row, with the JMCs of Talon Claw and Dr Ivo Robotnik taking up row two. Nominally this one mile oval was usually the domain of teams that could work out how to punch out of the two end corners better but due to the cold weather, this weekend would be more about making tyres actually work properly.

With the race scheduled for 250 laps, this meant that teams would split the race into three. Also given that tyres would normally do about 120 laps, the shading period for when the pitstop windows opening, was massive.

From the start, a small group led off by Robie Robie and Talon Claw broke away; with the peloton being led by Robotnik trailing about 3 seconds behind. The little yellow robot in his yellow Holden, would end up being there or thereabouts for most of the day.

The race settled down into a calm level of semi-stasis, with the lead being swapped between Robie, Claw, Raymond and James Kojira in the McAlpine, who on lap 16, cut to the inside of Robotnik and then proceeded to quietly fade off into the distance. Races are not won in the first 10%, so there was no kind of challenge or retaliation.



With nobody really being able to establish dominance, it was assumed that the first round of pitstops would happen via a double Russian roulette shotgun blinking match. Crew chiefs were anxious that after lap 90, the window to effect a pitstop was getting smaller and eventually someone's hand would be forced. They needn't have worried.

On lap 96, and maybe in a case of either exuberance or inexperience, MT Billie in the ex-Arbuckle Pontiac, struck the rear end of Morgan Inkling's BMW after she checked up trying to avoid Xavier Zangoose's Toyota. The damage to the Pontiac was mostly cosmetic. The damage to the BMW was a broken tie-rod; which meant that it was put outMean of the race. The damage to Zangoose's Toyota was a busted rear wing and a broken connector from the filler pipe to the fuel tank; which also put him out of the race.

Meanwhile the subsequent caution saw literally the whole field turn onto pit lane; and there were no takers at all for rolling around and taking credit for leading a lap, as leading a lap confers no benefit whatsoever. The victor off of pit lane was James Kojira, who had an excellent pitstop. The unknown question was whether or not the No.2 team was running to a fuel plan or if it had been genuinely excellent.
That question was confused even further as on lap 101, Kojira would post the fastest lap of the race; which meant that if there was any fuel saving plan going on, it certainly was not in evidence.



What had been a matter of waiting for everyone to blink, now became even more tense as teams could logically be expected to get their cars to about lap 230 and not quite the end. Kojira in his Rocket Industries Toyota, tried to cover any and all attacks by holding either the bottom or the centre on what is sometimes a three lane groove or even choked down to one and a half.

The almost silent surprise bouncing up the standings was Finn Mertins in the Volvo. After spending a great deal of time quietly holding station behind Judge John Judd and Kane McKane and just outside of the points, he made four moves in four laps by rolling around the outside of Turns 3 and 4; which is not the preferred line through those corners. This suggested that as the track was warming up, that various lines were also opening up

They say that fortune favours the brave but on some occasions, fortune does not know the difference between the brave or the stupid and simply decides to punish everyone. Bob Nikoban, being thoroughly bored witless by being stuck behind Ricardo Sasquini, janked to the inside of him going into Turn 3 on lap 207. Tigg Tiggerson in a customer Chevrolet, had nowhere to go and ploughed into the pink cat's Toyota; which also had the effect on concertinaing into Sasquini. As the clump drifted up the racetrack, Paxton Mann who also had nowhere to go, and Turn 3 claimed four more cars.



With 43 laps to go, there was yet another mad scramble in and off pit lane but this time, as the end point was known, then everyone also roughly knew what everyone else's fuel loads were. Kojira held the lead for a bit but as there were now cars at least a lap down, a sizeable second line was formed for the restart. This meant that he was effectively a sitting duck and whomever could best use the second line as a block or a pick, would win the day.

Raymond shot to the underside of Iam Milchmann in the #65 Zerex Chevrolet and would have found himself in the lead, had the good Doctor not also had the same idea and beaten him to the punch. Milchmann then helpfully ran to the top of the racetrack; wherein he then became a block and boxed in Kojira and everyone else in the top lane.

This then meant that Robotnik could hold the lead fairly effectively and try as he might, Raymond simply had no response, His Holden while every inch the equal of the JMC in front of it, was not better. They would remain in close quarters for the remainder of the race, and the only real challenger to them was Jimmy Kohler in the AMC. The AMC was the same chassis with which he had won upon the sands of Daytona Beach last season; so was stable in a straight line and piloted by someone up to the task. He could hold the draft of the two cars in front but not do much beyond that.

Robotnik's win shot him to the top of the seasons' standings; which is a place that he has not been in for more than a decade. Not since 20V8 when he was in a top of the table battle with Nigel Levins, has he stood at the very top of the pile.

"Am I supposed to hawk somebody's wares in the interview? I don't know... buy shirts from Uniqlo or something. Whatever knocks you out. I don't care. Also... asbestos is dangerous. Be careful when you are pulling down an old shed and make sure to use James Hardie Hardieflex dry wall."
- Dr Ivo Robotnik, to U62-TV

Points Awarded Round 4:

20 - Dr Ivo Robotnik
17 - Jack Raymond
14 - Jimmy Kohler
12 - James Kojira
10 - Walter Kronkyet
8 - Finn Mertins
6 - Robie Robie
5 - Kerrod Edumndson
4 - Judge John Judd
3 - MT Billie
2 - Gary Kingston
1 - Morgan Inkling

Top 20 After 4 Rounds:

43 - Dr Ivo Robotnik
37 - Hatsune Miku
29 - James Kojira
24 - Walter Kronkyet
22 - Kayleigh McAlpine
20 - Tse Sakamoto
20 - Marnie Roxy
18 - Robie Robie
17 - Jack Raymond
17 - Jeb Brown
17 - Eggatha Robotnik
15 - Jimmy Kohler
14 - Ziggy Moonglow
13 - Bandit Heeler
12 - Finn Mertins
12 - Paxton Mann
11 - Henri Cornelius
10 - Chloe Ankha
10 - Dale Tona
8 - Ugly Arbuckle

Round 5 will be held in two weeks time at Suzuka, on March 16.

 

[Jebrown]

I've got a score settle with Dr Robotnik from years ago...and settle it I will. Don't you worry about when and how.

 

[Rollo75]

Round 5 - The Japanese TT

Tourist Trophy races are usually staged by the various national motorsport federations and run on premier courses. The Japanese TT which was originally slated to be run at Fuji Speedway, was moved to Suzuka International Raceway, because they former was subject to flooding.

Local hero Konata Izumi put her Volvo on the pole; having had previous knowledge of this circuit in other categories. What would have been different to her would have been the lack of the chicane before the final turn; with the right-hand sweeper after 130R having been restored to its former glory.

The race would be held over the standard Grand Prix distance, and 53 laps.



It didn't even take one completed lap for this place to bite. As cars came onto the main straight to complete their first lap Ziggy Moonglow in the Moonglow Whiskey Dodge, was very clearly unhappy with fellow Dodge driver Jeb Brown. Unfortunately, if he had intended to apply the chrome horn, what he did was turn Brown into Ricardo Sasquini; who for the second time in as many races was put onto his roof and 17 of the 26 starters had nowhere to go but to add to the increasingly growing katamari.

With Judge John Judd being the last car on track to have avoided the carnage, and Dale Tona being the first driver not to fall headlong into it, the die was pretty well cast as to who was going to succeed. With the exception of Izumi who had the race practically handed to her on a silver plate, that only left her, Judge John Judd, Dale Tona, Talon Claw, and Kane McKane with undamaged machinery.

On the restart on lap 4, Talon claw got the jump going into the first corner; so the race would be either determined on how the pitstops went, or how the cautions shook out. He would be followed by Izumi pretty closely until the round of pitstops on lap 27, when inexplicably the Volvo stopped, didn't restart, and was quickly put on trolleys and wheeled back into the garage. The seized engine was apparently caused by an electrical glitch when the car stopped; which upset the timing and drove several valves into the piston heads. The #43 machine would not appear on track again today.

M2

With Claw being handed the lead he was determined to try and keep it. However, as he had suffered a small amount of residual damage in the early race pile up, it meant that his terminal speed down the long straights and through places like 130R, was between 5 and 20 mph slower than Dale Tona. What this meant is that he was effectively a sitting duck and it was not a matter of if Tona would effect a passing maneuver but when.

That move came on lap 36, coming out of the S Curves and through Degner. In trying to protect the line through the last of the S Curves, Claw held the inside; which meant that Tona took the outside and simply held position on the run to the next right hander. At this point the eventual winner was decided; with Tona having an unbent car and no obvious challenger. He was able to exact half a second per lap; which meant that the final gap was nine seconds, and may as well have been an eternity.

Judge John Judd could make no inroads on Claw either. The JMC having already been to the top step of the podium twice wirth Ivo Robotnik at the wheel, was certainly no slouch. Jupiter Motor Corp, being a Claw/Robotnik joint venture, had read the rules carefully and their 4996cc V8 was good from the get go. Judd who may have been initially impatient, had to resign himself to the fact that third was still a good points paying position. Behind all three was Kane McKane, who having avoided the wreckage at the start, drove an entirely anonymous race to finish fourth.



This really only leaves the strangeness of the race behind them. Team UZKA's Harry Gaven and GAZ's Bernie Bernie played out a rolling on-track battle, completely oblivious to the existence of the rest of the motor race behind them. Despite having backing from Shell, there were already doubts about the viability of Team UZKA and whether or not they would outlast the year. Also not for the first time, DD Racing running the GAZs, was worried about suggested rule changes for 20X6 and about if they even wanted to maintain a presence. Gaven and Bernie, basically banged their way around the track for 52 laps; with the Carolinian finally besting the East German.

They were also oblivious to MT Billie; who having been turned into the turn in the opening mess, fought hard with an ill-handling car, to climb up through the standings. He passed Dr George Claw well before well the pitstops. He passed Eggatha Robotnik in the traffic jam on to pit lane on lap 27. He then inherited fifth place after Gaven and Bernie pitted out of sequence on lap 28.

Billie's Pontiac which broadly retained the orange colour that it had last season as the #9 machine of Ugly Arbuckle, is inherently a decent piece of kit. Apart from the slightly strange quirk of having an internal set of levers for the damper control blades at the rear of the car, it was in theory good enough to win races. Even here, while being vastly impeded by massive accident, the car would still occasionally post the odd purple sector as fuel loads dropped off. Fifth place seemed like a good reward for a disappointing start.

"I can't believe I've won this. Sometimes you just need to get a little bit of luck fall your way, and today not only did that luck fall our way but we grabbed it and held as tightly as we could.
It's probably too early to start talking about championships but we can dare to dream."
- Dale Tona, to U62-TV.

Points Awarded Round 5:

20 - Dale Tona
17 - Talon Claw
14 - Judge John Judd
12 - Kane McKane
10 - MT Billie
8 - Harry Gaven
6 - Bernie Bernie
5 - Eggatha Robotnik
4 - Dr George Claw
3 - Pom Pomni
2 - Hochi Samyang
1 - Kerrod Edumndson

Top 20 Standings After 5 Rounds:

43 - Dr Ivo Robotnik
37 - Hatsune Miku
30 - Dale Tona
29 - James Kojira
24 - Walter Kronkyet
22 - Kayleigh McAlpine
22 - Eggatha Robotnik
20 - Tse Sakamoto
20 - Marnie Roxy
20 - Talon Claw
18 - Robie Robie
18 - Judge John Judd
17 - Jack Raymond
17 - Jeb Brown
15 - Jimmy Kohler
15 - Kane McKane
14 - Ziggy Moonglow
13 - Bandit Heeler
13 - MT Billie
12 - Finn Mertins

The next race will be held in two weeks' time, when the series takes a five round swing to the United States. Round 6 will be at Daytona.

 

[Rollo75]

Round 6 - The Daytona 300

Pole sitter James Kojira lead an McAlpine 1-2 as he and his boss, took to the bottom of the track on lap 1; leaving the outside land headed by Bandit Heeler out to dry.

Daytona with its variable bumps, expected to see speeds top out at just over 205mph down the back straight, but the temperature which barely managed to make it into the sixties, meant that tyres never really reached their full potential. The 200mph barrier was flirted with occasionally but never seriously crossed often.

M1

To call the list of drivers in The Goof eclectic would be an understatement. The series has both a Robot and a psychic ball of Gas as a driver, which is downright bizarre. The fact that The Goof has five cats who are drivers, seems almost sensible in comparison. So the fact that they are generally aloof and bordering on capricious, is to be expected.

On lap 34, while trying to hold the bottom of the race track, Ugly Arbuckle was advised that MT Billie was coming up up on his outside. For whatever reason, he did not appreciate being side-drafted and having the air taken from the rear wing; so he decided to play pool with motor cars. The 9 glanced the 30 of MT Billie, which in turn spun up the racetrack and Robert Dee in the D33stroy Energy Drink machine, became the innocent victim of capricious cat violence.'

Billie was absolutely livid over the radio, with this being the third time in as many races that his car had been damaged in on-track incidents. Dee was disappointed but didn't make any official comment. For his part in the brouhaha, remained silent and his Crew Chief/Team Principal/Father Garfield Arbuckle, threw his headset at the 20 Crew in the next pit box, before climbing down and kicking his warwagon, and storming off into the infield. He also would not be reached for comment.

With the field reracked and stacked, this meant that Mao-Mao Mao would assume the lead, after practically everyone tore down pit row for new tyres. Peak performance of the tyres on this day, was found to be just a little bit after they had been worn in a bit; which meant that they were their best on their third lap of use. Over the long run this race would come down to tyre management; with drivers having to make tyres work long after they had reached their peak of performance.



To that end, there were comers and goers for most of the day. Hatsune Miku and Bob Nikoban found each other and although they were no longer working for the same team or manufacturer, they knew each other well enough to work as a pair and pick off opponents. Likewise the JMCs of two Claws and two Robotniks were also found in cahoots, as they pounded around the 2.5 mile oval.

On lap 60, and after the top 30 cars had settled into a very long train, practically the whole field came down pit road for green flag pitstops. Rolling the dice and losing badly was Jack Raymond; who after rolling around on the end of the train, decided to stay out and inherit the lead but found that with no drafting help, not only did he lose the draft but he would also lose a lap as he came back up to speed and the train passed him again.

On lap 77 and after holding down a sensible seventh place, Ziggy Moonglow in the Moonglow Whiskey Dodge, pulled out of the draft because he thought that he saw Xavier Zangoose check up in front of him. For whatever reason, be it dirty air or just instability, the car looped and although it resulted in no damage, his tyres were shot and he would go a lap down in the hassle.
This placed Bandit Heeler to the front and as there three cars who were a lap down by this stage occupied the bottom line (being Moonglow, Raymond, and Edmundson), the result almost baked itself in here and now.

The restart happened on lap 81 for a 39 lap run to the flag. Moonglow pulled to the top to block Heeler, to let his friend Tigg Tiggerson through the hole created in the centre lane, and as they came out of Turn 2, Tiggerson was gone and Moonglow and Raymond having plugged up the field, gave Tiggerson free licence to turn laps int front unhindered. Tiggerson would lead every lap thereafter and there would be no more contest.



If there was to be anything gained, then second place was still up for grabs. The two Toyota Crowns of Xavier Zangoose and Paxton Mann were soon joined by a third Crown, in Mao Mao Mao. Maybe if Bob Nikoban had had a cleaner run through the traffic then he could have joined them, but that was not to be.
Behind the three Toyotas, the train grew progressively angrier and use of the chrome horn became ever more prevalent. It is one of those bumps which would eventually decide the fate of the race.

With Tiggerson long gone off into the never never, and the three Toyotas holding on by their knuckles, the critical bump came in Turn 3 on lap 120 of 120. Judge John Judd gave it a massive send into the rear bumper of Kane McKane and this disturbed the entire train in front.

McKane would grab a sudden burst of speed and pulled to the outside of Mao to steal away fourth but the shock came as he bumped Sticks Baja who then took to the bottom lane and held onto a Chevrolet which was always threatening to break but never actually did so. She passed the entire group of now compromised cars, and while screaming to the line "Sticks is Unobliterateable!" she would finally put some points on the board.

In a case of scoregami, Tiggerson would take the #40 to Victory Lane for the very first time in the 31st season.

"Maybe I got lucky on the restart and maybe I had some help from my friends, but you always have to be in a place to make your luck and today, we did that."
- Tigg Tiggerson, to U-62 TV.

Points Awarded Round 6:

20 - Tigg Tiggerson
17 - Sticks Baja
14 - Paxton Mann
12 - Xavier Zangoose
10 - Kane McKane
8 - Mao Mao Mao
6 - Judge John Judd
5 - Jeb Brown
4 - Kayleigh McAlpine
3 - Morgan Inkling
2 - Tse Sakamoto
1 - James Kojira

Top 20 After 6 Rounds:

43 - Dr Ivo Robotnik
37 - Hatsune Miku
30 - James Kojira
30 - Dale Tona
26 - Paxton Mann
26 - Kayleigh McAlpine
25 - Kane McKane
24 - Judge John Judd
24 - Walter Kronkyet
22 - Jeb Brown
22 - Tse Sakamoto
22 - Eggatha Robotnik
20 - Tigg Tiggerson
20 - Talon Claw
20 - Marnie Roxy
18 - Xavier Zangoose
18 - Robie Robie
17 - Sticks Baja
17 - Jack Raymond
15 - Jimmy Kohler

Round 7 will be held at Cardboardland Speedway, Jefferson, on 14th May, in two weeks' time.

 

[Rollo75]

Round 7 - The Cardboardland Box Of Doom 300

The State of Jefferson was admitted to the union on the 22nd of November 1963, after the more famous events of the day, and after Congress moved quickly to lock in the secretive state. Jefferson officially has no residents. Jefferson officially has no airports. Jefferson officially is silent. It has no representation in Congress.

What the state of Jefferson has, are the Cardboardland Speedway, Mount Pocono Speedway, and Steel Canyon Speedway. These three venues are not subject to any kind of curfew, noise restriction, or capacity issues, as officially, they do not exist. As with any trip to Jefferson, the teams loaded their equipment onto C-17 Globemasters at Homey Airport, and then flew in a windowless plane to United Kardboard (UNK) Airport.


On the Geoff Cluck racing survey of "Was this a good race?" 95% of respondents replied 'no'. This year's race at Cardboardland Speedway due to a combination of warm air, a warm track, and the nature of a mile-and-a-half speedway was such that the highlight reel for this event was slim to marginal at best. The added fact of the track surface being made of cardboard, never helps either.

This race was more or less decided on Lap 1 and by the end of Turn 2. The two GaZ drivers of Marnie Roxy and Walter Kronkyet held a front row lockout and with the two of them leading the field into Turn 1, it then meant that as Kronkyet was on the outside and sat on the fastest line, he rolled around the top and carried momentum out of Turn 2 and down the back straight. Roxy saw him blow past and her job from that point onwards would be merely that of tail-gunner.

Immediately behind here was Talon Claw who would almost certainly be assuming the lead role in that half of the Team MAD/Robotnik garage for 20X6 and MT Billie who after having an abysmal start to the season, finally dialled into the groove. His battle with both Claw and Roxy would swing back and forth for most of the day; only really resolving itself at the last set of pitstops, with Claw finally having the upper hand, Roxy having to settle for third and Billie's tyres fading to the point where he would be passed two laps from home by Kane McKane and end up in fifth.



In fact the only time that the caution would come out at all and the only time that the field would be reracked and stacked, was on lap 67 and roughly mid-way through a tyre cycle.

A slow brewing squabble between Sticks Baja and Bernie Bernie for 24th place saw the badger in the Chevrolet being harassed by the quicker GaZ. As Sticks would not relinquish even a pointless place up without a fight, Bernie felt that he was being held up and tried to nudge her.

This squabble actually made the two cars slower than they otherwise needed to be and their laptimes were about 0.8 seconds slower than they aught to be. This brought their fight back towards the two Volvos of Mertins and Izumi; who decided to skirt around the outside of them.

As Carboardland has at best a two-lane groove; with maybe a third opening up in Turns 3 and 4, going four wide was never an option. Not even the series' only racing robot Robie Robie could have calculated all of the micro-forces being put through a four wide argument and after Izumi bumped Bernie, they group acted like a Newton's Cradle and Mertins and Baja were both turned coming out of Turn 2.

The mad scramble which followed, amazingly saw no other cars even as much as scraped; even in spite of Gary Kingston facing full on into the face of Baja. A hole opened at the top of the race track and he took evasive action; which meant that the #19 Lotus remained intact.

Following the restart, Kronkyet sped off into the lead unchallenged and it was all that Claw and Roxy could do but to watch the red Interflug machine fly away into the distance.



This really was the only dramatic story of the day. Kronkyet was not troubled. The GaZ, always on the verge of breaking loose and staying planted, was really the only car which could hug the white line and yet still be faster. The driver flying the flag of the DDR made his speed by both making the track as short as possible and holding the highest terminal speed.

Whenever he went into a corner, he would find the line; which means that as he was usually always a width and a bit below the car which he came up behind, by the time that the corner was ended, he was already past by going through on the inside.

With the top five already mentioned and Paxton Mann having the most anonymous race ever in sixth, attention then turned to the lower half of the points scoring positions. Celebrated champion of other series, Jeb Brown, put on a display of defensive driving by holding back both Dr George Claw and Hatsune Miku, both of whom are previous champions. As a car only needs to be wide enough to take away a line from someone else, the wise hand in the Dodge

"With that, we're done. We know that we will never win a championship; so that goal will always remain unattainable. What we did today though, was win a race and have showed that the capability is there. We can finally reveal that we have been supplying engines to JMC and McAlpine, and although DD Racing will continue to operate the engine shop, we will not return in 20X6. There is nowhere else in this sport to go."
- Walter Kronkyet, to U62-TV.

Points Awarded Round 7:

20 - Walter Kronkyet
17 - Talon Claw
14 - Marnie Roxy
12 - Kane McKane
10 - MT Billie
8 - Paxton Mann
6 - Jeb Brown
5 - Dr George Claw
4 - Hatsune Miku
3 - Kuki Muensta
2 - Tse Sakamoto
1 - Antoine D'Tigrette

Top 20 After 7 Rounds:

44 - Walter Kronkyet
43 - Dr Ivo Robotnik
41 - Hatsune Miku
37 - Talon Claw
37 - Kane McKane
34 - Marnie Roxy
34 - Paxton Mann
30 - James Kojira
30 - Dale Tona
28 - Jeb Brown
26 - Kayleigh McAlpine
24 - Tse Sakamoto
24 - Judge John Judd
23 - MT Billie
22 - Eggatha Robotnik
20 - Tigg Tiggerson
18 - Xavier Zangoose
18 - Robie Robie
17 - Sticks Baja
17 - Jack Raymond

Round 7 will be held at Steel Canyon, Jefferson, on 28th May, in two weeks' time.