The Goof - 20X2

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Rollo75

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Dec 1, 2018
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Round 1 - Daytona International Speedway

The B-Heat Race:


The beginning of any new season is a bit like the first day back at school. Everyone is unsettled and there is always the question of what classes that everyone will be going into.

The two big questions over the off season was where Oglivy 'Sonic' Hedgehog and where Robie Robie would end up. Sonic like Konata Izumi was a driver for the Subaru team which folded at the end of last season and whereas she took up a drive at Datsun, he was a free agent with no destination. Eventually, he signed on as a works Chevrolet driver, as Felix Katt moved on to the new BLK Team.
Robie Robie on the other hand, spent the end of last season in an ex-McIllan Racing '59 Mustang; which only came to light after the merry-go-round had stopped, was prepped by Team UZKA. Team UZKA has expanded to four cars for 20X2; with Robie Robie moving into a spot which he virtually held, and billionaire Bruce Wayne returning in the #66 Wayne Industries colours.

The opening round of the 20X2 season was held up the road from where the last round of the 20X2 season was held; in that it was held at Daytona International Speedway as opposed to the sands of Daytona Beach. This was mainly doe to political issues with the City of Daytona; where the city council wouldn't approve a beach race this year. The three races were all 250 miles long and 100 laps a piece.

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Pole sitter Oglivy Hedgehog having started the season in new equipment, got the jump on the rest of the field and moved ouit to an early lead. Behind him though, the opening day squabbles were just beginning.

Having campaigned what were officially registered as 'Ferraris' but with zero input from the Italian factory and even questions of disapproval as to how they got the Ferrari engines in the first place, Team OSKO with Judge John Judd and Morgan Inkling found themselves having to negotiate with the preferred manuacturers for 20X2. With Chevrolet, Ford, Kia, Toyota and Holden all tied up, then this meant dealing with McAlpine Racing who are running the entirety of Mercedes-Benz fabrication for 20X2 themselves, Datsun, Mazda and GAZ. Running a GAZ was cheap, Datsun was chaotic, and Mazda would be difficult to convince. As they were a two car operation already and Mazda wanted to close their slots, Mazda accepted Team OSKO's application but only if they were running customer cars of Mifune Motors. Team OSKO apprently didn't care and took the offer.

Morgan Inkling put the #41 Mazda 989 on tenth place and made a fairly decent kinf of start, and then found that on a superspeedway she could actually make use of the draft. The Ferrari powered bodge jobs of last season never ran fast enough to be able to get close enough to make use of the draft but with thuis new toy, it was as if she'd been given licence to go wild.
There was no plan. Go hard or go home seemed to be the ethos of Inkling and by the end of the first lap she'd already made it to the rear bumper of Dr Ivo Robotnik's car in 4th. He wasn't about to surrender the position so easily and with reigning champion Al Yankovic in front of him, this would be a difficult task.

When practically the whole field pitted on lap 25, nobody dared pit out of sequence except Jean-Paul Cassell who decided to meaninglessly lead a lap. He was already on the tail of a long line of cars and so rejoining the tail after a pitstop was not a concern.
Inkling found herself with less that adequate pit work and she dropped three spots and then decided to go even harder, figuring that if she could overtake as many cars as possible before the tyres degraded, then she might find it easier to defend the spots later.
This shot is of lap 55; when after having followed Robotnik down the back straight, Inkling went underneath him in Turn 3 and pushed him up the racetrack and then went to the outside of Al Yankovic and Samuel Toucquanne through the tr-oval. By the end of lap 56, Inkling was in second place and ready to chase down Hedgehog in a whirlwind of madness and fury.

"Thirteen. Who is that?"
"Robotnik."
"He's gone.... Sixty-two. Who is that?"
"You don't know that's last year's champion?"
"I don't care if he's the King of Town and Mayor McCheese. He's in my way."

- Driver Morgan Inkling and Spotter Meggie Spletzer, lap 55


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Threading the needle is a valuable skill for any driver who having made it to the lead, wishes to stay there. By about lap 47, Oglivy Hedgehog had lapped everyone up to 7th place and was about to put a lap on Sticks Baja in the Dewalt Toyota and rookie Boris Andropov in the #47 Komrade Kat GAZ. GAZ's story in going from a two car operation to a proper eight car preferred manufacturer is nothing short of bizarre; and for season 20X2, the works team brought in Boris Andropov and Darth Vader, to bring both youth and experience to their ranks. Unfortunately with youth also comes a lack of experience and when Hedgehog tried to send his car around the outside of Andropov, the Russian who experienced a side draft force and a wiggle going into Turn 1, slid roughly a foot up the racetrack and into the rear quarter panel of the passing Chevrolet. Hedgehog in turn tagged the back or Baja's Toyota and nearly slid into the path of Rodan's Nissan GTR-8 but somehow that didn't happen.

Hedgehog being the lead car when the caution came out, was sufficiently far enough ahead, that when the pace car picked him up, he was still in the lead; which meant that when the mad dash en masse for the pits happened on lap 49, he pitted from the lead and exited back into the lead, after having been the one to cause the caution in the first place.

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The big question would be, having acquired the lead early and by virtue of getting an undercut, would Hedgehog be able to keep the #8 Chevrolet out in front? That answer would be found out as the field bore down on him as the race wore on.

Title contender last season, Tse Sakamoto in the Mazda 989 sat behind in second place but couldn't make much of an impact and Hatsune Miku in the #00 Toyota in third found that when cars moved over for Sakamoto, they wouldn't move over for her as they were unaware that she was there. She herself was under constant challenge from Greg Rellings in the #52 Mazda; she knew that given that Sakamoto had a fair amount of speed in the car, that Rellings would as well.

It wasn't until the final round of pitstops that a challenger did emerge and that was Kane McKane in the factory Holden. This was now McKane's fourth season in Holden equipment and the second in factory equipment. The people in head office in Melbourne gave an ultimatum to their team; citing that because the results weren't there, they would be withdrawing factory support at the end of the year unless something turned around.

With that kind of pressure, McKane wanted to get runs on the board early and so having made it to sixth place, he thought there might be a run on towards the end of the race. He passed Spidalski on lap 80, Miku on lap 83, and Sakamoto on lap 96; which gave him only a few laps to try and find a way around Hedgehog; who had led every lap bar three.

The run finally did come on lap 100 after he got a massive tow down the back straight from Stripe Heeler in the second of the Hammberbarn Fords. Stripe duly moved out of the way and McKane now found himself behind another blue streak.

In the end, by holding the inside Line through the tri-oval and forcing McKane to go the long way round, Hedgehog did just 0.1 of a second enough to keep everyone else behind. The big lesson here is that enough is enough because nobody really cares how much you won by, as much as they care that you did.

Points Awarded B-Heat Race:
9 - Oglivy Hedgehog
6 - Kane McKane
4 - Tse Sakamoto
3 - Hatsune Miku
2 - Greg Rellings
1 - Stanley Spidalski
 

Rollo75

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The A-Heat Race:

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The A-Heat race which was also held over the distance of 100 laps and 250 miles, began under caution as a drizzle descended over Florida. Conditions in December can be best described as moist and at just 57 degrees, coolish. That decided lack of heat in the air also meant that tyres took time to get up to temperature and as The Goof management have banned the use of tyre warmers, that means that the opening lap on cold tyres can be a bit squirly.

Goodyear brought a tyre which everyone found in testing, had peak performance from lap 2 until about lap 23. It would go as far as 30 laps but beyond about 27, performance wasn't guaranteed. Pitting every 25 laps was the default order of the day and in the opening period, Go Mifune led the field from Bruno Gourdo, Bandit Heeler, Gojira and Eggatha Robotnik. That order would be completely altered on lap 26 when the entire field pitted at once. The winner of the pit lane lottery was Kayleigh McAlpine along with Miles Prower who both opted to take just the outside tyres and thus save valuable seconds on pit lane. McAlpine rejoined ahead of Heeler who had to yield for her as he exited his pit box.

The general advice is that drivers be a bit cautious on the opening lap after starts and restarts but Kurt Langer ignored that advice and tried to do what Oglivy Hedgehog did in the opening heat race and cut through the field early. The track had other ideas and unlike Hedgehog, Langer found the limits of adhesion.

The front right hand tyre, having been stressed beyond what it would take, tore itself to pieces and instead of sending him into the wall, the #43 Ford jagged and looped him. Langer spun harmlessly down the racetrack and brought out a caution; which didn't force a mad dash for pit lane as the entire field had already pitted.

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With McAlpine out in front and Heeler becoming increasingly impatient behind her, a challenge for the lead was inevitable but it would be made all the more complex as the leaders began to encounter lapped traffic. McAlpine had been in this kind of situation before and knew that slicing your way through traffic was as delicate an operation as any other kind of pack racing but this being only the third full year of Dodgy Brothers as a racing outfit Heeler perhaps hadn't acquired those skills.

The truth is that literally nobody can predict the amount of buffeting and turbulent forces within a battle pack of cars at 170mph. Drivers in other series are far more disciplined but as The Goof isn't exactly the pinnacle of this kind of racing, the expected terms of etiquette simply do not exist here.

On lap 42 Heeler tried to jam his Ford underneath McAlpine and as she was moving from tne bottom to the middle lane to avoid Tetsuwan Atomi, Heeler had no idea that the #63 Mercedes-Benz was even there. Somehow, McAlpine took evasive action, Heeler escaped to the bottom, and Katt, Raymond and Vader who were immediately behind, all took to the top lane and also avoided what could have been a seven car pile-up; instead, it was zero.

Vader who had to lift, brushed the wall and cut the rear right tyre. He had to make an immediate stop under green and so his race was ruined from this point. He fell back to 27th and bravely spent the rest of the race fighting to get back above the cut line; which he eventually would do by inches and finished 18th for his effort.

Robie Robie who was lying in sixth place, was sufficently far back enough behind this swirling malaise that by the time he made it to the back straight, he didn't even have to lift and sliced through the field like a hot chainsaw through butter. Robie was scored as leading lap 42 and managed to pull out a five second lead by the end of lap 43. He was soon joined by Bruce Wayne in the #66 Team UZKA Ford and they rolled around in 1-2 formation for a great number of laps.

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Although Bruce Wayne is one of the main backers for the expanded Team UZKA in 20X2 and his own car is practically self-funded via Wayne Industries, this is still under the assumption that he would be at best a No.3 driver within the team. Robie had been brought in after a series of high profile dramas at the end of last season and he had made it clear that he was here to win the championship. As it was, Yankovic as the team principle and now reigning championship himself, was either the No.1 or No.2 driver.
Wayne did his duty and ran a screen for Robie out in front but it was to no avail and he had to concede second place to McAlpine who clearly had a faster car. Even if he had wanted to, McAlpine could turn into corners and pull out of them better than he could this late in the race.

Meanwhile up front, Robie was slowly being reeled back in as he too experienced a loss in performance as the tyres got older. Robie had been running a more aggressive line towards the apron of the racetrack but McAlpine who had spent most of the race running about a lane and a half from the bottom, was turning better laps later.

With only residual help from Mercedes-Benz, which includes the leftovers from their now defunct works team, McAlpine Racing signed on to the 20X2 season as the lead fabricator for the manufacturer. They had 16 engines for 8 cars, 11 chassis (some of which had been converted from both Type 4 and Type 5.1) and having never actually visited Daytona before and using a hunch that they gathered from data at Indianapolis last season, all 8 cars were prepared for Daytona.

McAlpine spent most of the early part of the race hanging towards the back; she only ordered the team to put the outside tyres on at both the 25 and 50 lap stops. For the stop on lap 75, all four tyres went on the car and shen went on a tear. After she got past Wayne, he then was able to sit in the draft behind her and the two of them breezed past Robie on the second last lap. His tyres were well and truly used up by that stage and so any finish would be better than nothing. To finish in the top 18 meant a chance at the Feature Race; which was preferralble to throwing the whole thing away. Robie finished out of the points in 10th but he would get a shot in the feature.

Points Awarded A-Heat Race:
9 - Kayleigh McAlpine
6 - Bruce Wayne
4 - Go Mifune
3 - Bruno Gourdo
2 - Gojira
1 - Bernie Bernie
 
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Rollo75

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The Main Feature Race:

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The Main Feature race started with Al Yankovic on pole, who almost immediately suffered an electrical failure and was passed by a gaggle of cars before Turn 1. Among thise who passed him were Hochi Samyang in the #96 GAZ, Sonia Hirokawa who was in the #40 GAZ, Mad Cat in the second of the Team MAD Kias and wildcard Nigel Levins who was one of seven drivers given a free pass into the feature race. Levins who is a five-time champion and the Team Principal for Levins Racing who runs the works Mazdas, still showed that he was a wiley character but ultimately none of the wildcards would figure in the top 12.

Bruce Wayne in the #66 Ford found that he was on the outside going into Turn 1 and was able to get the jump on the field by the end of Turn 2. He wouldn't hold the lead for particularly long though as the field gradually sorted itself out and by lap 4 it had turned into a Chevrolet benefit with Arbuckle, Hedgehog and Toucquanne occupying the first three places.

Behind them, Hatsune Miku and Patrick Mann found that they could link up and be drafting partners and as Bruce Wayne faded back into the chasing pack, he soon realised that Team UZKA wasn't exactly going to help him out as both Robie Robie and Al Yankovic were considerably faster.
Miku would assume the lead and Yankovic eventually found his way through the battle pack of Chevrolets as on track alliances and friendships proved to be as useful and long lasting as a shield made of tissue paper.

By lap 20 and with the positions starting to sort themselves out, the race order settled down to Miku, Arbuckle, McAlpine, Eggatha Robotnik, Tocquanne and Izumi. On lap 25 came the usual round of pitstops and this was made all the more complex by the fact that the leaders were now coming up through lapped traffic. By lap 26, the race was in complete confusion as some cars were being lapped, others had pitted, and others hadn't pitted but would have been lapped had they done so. This is where spotters on top of both the boxes and on various viewing platforms struggled to just make sense of what they were looking at.

On lap 30 after it had all shaken out, Arbuckle and McAlpine fell way back down the order, leaving Eggatha Robotnik in second place and not all that far behind Hatsune Miku's Toyota. The younger Robotnik had visual on her target and was about to mount a challenge before lapped traffic intervened.

Miku passed to the under side of Michelle Oxford and after having let through the leader, Oxford moved back down the racetrack. This left Eggatha stuck behind the Mercedes, and the Datsun of Konata Izumi and the Chevrolet of Samuel Toucquanne ran the higher line, using the slower moving Mercedes as a pick.

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Having just seen Konata Izumi and Samuel Toucquanne pass by her, Eggatha Robotnik simply just lost her composure with Michelle Oxford.

"What is the #2 doing? If they're a lap down, they should move out of the way. If they ain't gonna move out of the way then I'm gonna move them for them."

The #12 Kia suffered miniml damage after having the #2 Mercedes-Benz spin around the front of the car and so, left the scene of the crime. The #2 Mercedes-Benz slid up the racetrack, missing the outside wall and would have slid just as harmlessly down the racetrack if it wasn't for the #4 Mazda 989 of Kenichi Mifune full on hoofing it

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Al Yankovic who saw the whole thing play out in front of him, prepared for the worst and yet somehow passed through the centre of the unfolding crash with nothing but a scrape across the roof of his Ford, from flying debris.

"We're dead, we're dead, we're...
...we're breathing again. Did you just see that? One of them Mercedes lasses just got walloped."

- Al Yankovic

Michelle Oxford walked out of the crash too dazed to be angry but she had every right to be. There was an outside chance that the #2 Mercedes-Benz could have gone on to a points paying finish but this destroyed any chance of that. This particular chassis having been built out of a previous race winner is now a write-off.

Yankovic replaced all four of his tyres as a precaution and while the caution flags were out, Eggatha Robotnik's luck got even worse as she copped a pit lane violation for speeding.

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After a caution late in the race caused by the absolutely harmless spinning of Rodan in Turn 4, the field was bunched up and let loose for 7 laps of madness. Most of the field had pitted on or around lap 75 but Team OSKO left Inkling out, hoping for a late race caution; which they got.

With four brand new tyres and a dwindling fuel load, the team correctly estimated that Inlking could pull off 52s while the rest of the field was doing 56s. A new set of tyres this late in the race, practically demanded party mode from Morgan Inkling and after having found similar speed in the heat race, she went for it.

She overtook 9 cars in the space of three laps and then with nobody else but Darth Vader in the #77 GAZ, her progress was stopped. He wasn't about to let a race win slip through his fingers so easily and so, he made the black GAZ very wide indeed.

Inkling knew that she had the ability to run literally everywhere up and down the racetrack and so going into turn 3 on lap 99, she ran higher and deeper up the racetrack and despite Vader trying to hold the bottom, it was in vain. Inkling came out of turn 4 holding at least a 10mph speed advantage and so she got the nose out in front and stayed there.

What Inkling experienced on lap 100 was a car which threatened to break away from underneath her, as the main tank had emptied and she was running on the reserve. It could have all gone horribly wrong coming out of Turn 4 and through the tri-oval as all of the gauges flashed on, indicating that she was running on fumes and so she moved to the centre of the track to effect a block on the GAZ of Darth Vader who checked up and collected second place.

Oglivy Hedgehog took third place with a #8 Chevrolet which was getting quicker towards the end and Miku who had led the race earlier, was content with fourth.

Points Awarded Main Race Round 1:
20 - Morgan Inkling
17 - Darth Vader
14 - Oglivy Hedgehog
12 - Hatsune Miku
10 - Kane McKane
8 - Kayleigh McAlpine
6 - Robie Robie
5 - Stanley Spidalski
4 - Bruno Gourdo
3 - Bernie Bernie
2 - Al Yankovic
1 - Miles Prower

Standings After Round 1:
23 Oglivy Hedgehog
20 Morgan Inkling
17 Kayleigh McAlpine
17 Darth Vader
16 Kane McKane
15 Hatsune Miku
7 Bruno Gourdo
6 Stanley Spidalski
6 Bruce Wayne
6 Robie Robie
4 Tse Sakamoto
4 Go Mifune
4 Bernie Bernine
2 Greg Rellings
2 Gojira
2 Al Yankovic
1 Miles Prower

Round 2 of the season will be held at the Ontario Motor Speedway, in Ontario, Canada on 23rd Jan.
 

Rollo75

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Round 2 - Ontario Motor Speedway II

The B-Heat Race:

For Round 2 of the season, The Goof headed for the Great White North and the 2.5 mile oblong oval that is Ontario Motor Raceway II. The former OMS in California has long been demolished and turned into a housing development but as the city of Greater Sudbury in Ontario had expanses of nothingness, then building a 1:1 copy was not that much of a problem. Technically OMS II is in the village of Dog Patch; which given that three-quarters of diddly-squat ever happens there, this was the most exciting thing to happen to the place since the regional Corn Hole championships.

The teams having never been here before, went out on the Friday and found that the relatively shallow banking and wide turns, was rather a bit like Indianapolis; very tall gearing and long run speed would be the order of the day. Also and because of the 2.5 length of the raceway, the two heats at 250 miles would be slightly longer than at most venues and 3 stops would be the usual order of the day.

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The early leader of the race was Walter Kronkyet who got the jump on the outside of pole sitter Ellie McIllan and Jean-Luc Pikachu. McIllan having won the championship in her rookie season and with the potential to go back to back and defend it, right up until the last race of last season, is not exactly a slouch. Jean-Luc Pikachu, having won the championship 12 years ago in a Mercury and retired, was lured back behind the wheel when Patrick Mann wanted to fill a place at Team Yellow Toyota.
Pikachu sat on the rear quarter of McIllan but Kronkyet took to the top of the racetrack early and found that even this early in the race, higher speeds and more momentum can be gained by rolling the top.

The race ran pretty quickly into a single line groove as drivers found that especially down the long straights, pulling out of the draft and having to punch the hole in the air by yourself, was like taking the elevator to the basement. It was really only through the corners that any major advantage could be exacted. Drivers could gain a slingshot going into Turn 1 and Turn 3 by pulling out of the draft late into the piece.

On lap 18 and seemingly with an increasing amount of frustration, Byuti Nanako finally had enough of following Chloe Ankha's #5A Toyota and so, the pink Chevrolet bumped and turned the blue and yellow machine. This naturally brought out a caution but nobody except for Nanako and Ankha came in for tyres. As Ankha's Toyota only kissed the wall, it took little more than a strip of 100 mile an hour tape to patch it up.

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Trouble again struck the field on lap 33 when coming out of Turn 2, Jack Raymond in the pi Telecom Holden, was nudged by Byuti Nanako's Chevrolet (who was now a repeat offender) and this triggered a 14 car mess on the back straight. Raymond who had been holding down 4th place, speared into Gwar Gura's Mercedes and her fellow Mercedes pilot Marnie Roxy.
Stripe Heeler in the Hammerbarn Ford Mondeo GT, was the first car immediately behind the sliding junkyard and he like the cars behind him had nowhere to go. New recruit for McAlpine Racing, Gwar Gura, may posibly have qualified for the main feature race but that hope instantly evaporated.

"We were on for a points finish. Obviously I hate it but I'm not going to blame Nanako. Who knows what kind of micro forces go on out there. Crisp."
- Jack Raymond, to U62 TV.

Jean-Luc Pikachu maintained his lead at the front in front of McIllan, Kronket, Koffing who showed that the Mercedes had some pace, Bo-bobo, and Sasquini's Mazda. By the half way point, there was little to separate the top six and apart from Bo-Bobobo who never made it past fourth, the other five all briefly tasted the lead. Such is the nature of Ontario Motor Speedway II.

Although you can find a run and stay at the front, someone getting a faster run off of turns 2 and 4 are more likely to carry the speed down the straight just long enough to assume the lead at the hesd of the train and also because side drafting effectively dirties the air coming off of the cars, sitting just off someone's quarter panel is now a valid and useful tactic for stealing their position.

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The general theory behind how Koffing actually manages to control a racecar despite not actually having any arms or legs is fairly straightforward. Kayleigh McAlpine who is the Team Principal for McAlpine Motorsport informs us that the #109 Mercedes-Benz is built identically to any other car in the fleet; including the installation of safety belts which are an irrelevance. Koffing, who is a gas ball creature (when analysed turns out to be mostly N2, CO2 and N2C, with some traces of metallic gases) is required to wear a helmet and sits (?) in the place where a driver usually would. He controls the pedals and controls telepathically. Goof Management has decreed that the #109 car also carry a kind of wire mesh inside the car, just in case telepathic control can be contained within a Faraday Cage.

Koffing played a sensible last half of the race. He stayed within the front pack as they pulled away from Bo-bobo who was content to pick up that single point for coming 6th, and he picked off the others on the final two laps of the race. Jean-Luc Pikachu who became aware of what was going on, tried to throw a block on him going down the back stretch for the final time but Koffing actually made use of the aero effect and stole the air off of Pikachu's car going into Turn 3.

As for McIllan and Kronkyet, they tried to work in tandem and gained a ton of momentum coming out of Turn 4 to pass Sasquini who went to the low side in order to make them go the long way round.

Bobo-bo Bo-bobobo in the #85 Chevrolet, struggled to maintain touch with the leading five but was so far ahead of Jean-Paul Cassell's Pizza Hat Holden that he had a very lonely race all to himself. The Chevrolet SS which is presumed to be built to the same standard as the two black entries polited by Michael Maus and Felix Katt, is an adequate piece of kit as a customer machine.

Points Awarded B-Heat Race:
9 - Koffing
6 - Jean-Luc Pikachu
4 - Ellie McIllan
3 - Walter Kronkyet
2 - Ricardo Sasquini
1 - Bobo-bo Bo-bobobo
 

Rollo75

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The A-Heat Race:

Pole sitter Bruno Gourdo had a shocking start and managed to hold up Kayleigh McAlpine and the Fords of Bandit Heeler and Robie Robie behind him. This meant that the outside lane which contained Donkey Kong and Darth Vader got the jump going into Turn 1 and swept into the lead by the exit of Turn 2.

This is how the opening period of the race held station. Kong, Vader, Gourdo, McAlpine, Heeler, and Robie rounding out the points getting positions. With the exception of Kong, the other five have had a chance at winning a championship going into the last day of the season and they all knew that Round 2 is far to early to start making desperate plays.

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With Kong being out the front of the train of cars, he was the won who was using the most amount of fuel to punch through the air. Curiously, as he was also out fromn and in cooler air, he was also making significantly more power than the chasing pack and was quietly pulling ahead.

Of note is that that two cars out in front were both GAZs. GAZ's story in The Goof has taken them from being a two car team to a preferred manufacturer and building eight cars in just four years. Their reliability has now reached the point where they are as good as anyone else and results like this prove that they also are up to par in terms of speed as well. Part of this may have to do with the closure of Vader's own Racing For The Empire team which was running Fords and the arrival of third GAZ factory driver Boris Andropov in the #47 entry.

Although Vader and Kong are not part of the same team, a tacit agreement between drivers of the various manufacturers means that you already have a kind of inbuilt alliance. With three Fords in the top six, Vader was more than happy to sit tight behind Kong and not challenge for the lead. Leading the race provides no real benefit in the early stages.

On lap 46 of 100 and before when drivers were expected to pit on lap 50, the works Chevrolet team dropped Oglivy Hedgehog from 9th place and pitted him out of sequence. He was able to catch the tail end of the field and get the draft from a bunch of cars. By lap 50 he was already back up to 23rd and within three laps when the half way pit cycle happened, he found himself in the lead, having passed most of the top half of the field while they were stationary.
On lap 51, both Vader and Kong pitted and resumed their place at the front of the field but by the end of Turn 2, Hedgehog streaked past them both; having already pitted and having already brought his tyres up to temperature.

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Oglivy Hedgehog had spent most of the A-Heat race doing exactly what he had done in the heat race at Daytona; that is, stay out in front, maintain the speed, and hope that everything would happen behind him. He wasn't wrong. Most of this race saw him out the front with either Vader, Kong, McKane or McAlpine behind him. They would move back and forth through the top ten as the afternoon wore on, in various attempts to conserve tyres.

However, Gojira who had come all the way from 30th on the grid, now saw on lap 88 that at the rate of front right hand tyre wear on his car, he would not last the distance. So, on lap 88 and in a cynical attempt to bring out a caution, he deliberately dumped Tse Sakamoto going into Turn 2.

The Datsun experienced precisely zero damage, while Sakamoto's Mazda 989 which was involuntarily turned into a hatchback, recovered and drove the wheels off the car to just sneak into the top 18; even with a badly damaged car. Starting on the bottom lane on restarts helped his cause and he would finish in 17th and still qualify for the feature race.

"He's a monster. He's a green-eyed monster."
- Tse Sakamoto, #58

"I bumped him. He spun. He'll get over it."
- Gojira, #23

Goof Management saw this incident as a cynical attempt to bring out a caution at the expense of a competitor and didn't stand for it. The #23 Nissan was brought in for a 30 second penalty and this sent Goijra way down the order. He then spent ten frantic laps trying to get something out of the race and only just scraped into the top 18 and above the cut off for the feature, coming out of Turn 4 on the very last lap.

The U62 Ford of reigning champion Al Yankovic didn't fare so well though. He reported that junk had collected in the fron air dam of his Mondeo GT and although the crew did their best to try and clear it, his car turned into a kettle and boiled away all of its water.

02A3.jpg


After winning the B-Heat Race at Daytona and coming 3rd in the feature, Oglivy Hedgehog started this race with an average finish of 2.0. Admittedly, one round of the season is not enough to determine anything but it is enough to place a flag of intent.
Since coming to the works Chevrolet team, Hedgehog has found that Team Principal Garfield Arbuckle runs a very different shop to what he has been used to. Arbuckle makes it a requirement of his driving staff that they undertake a kind of mechanical apprenticeship. That way, they can better appreciate what the crew is doing and why they do it. Hedgehog appears to have taken this to heart and at least at the beginning of the year, this has equated to a faster racecar.

The #8 Chevrolet moved to the front on lap 51 and stayed there for the entire afternoon, save for a loss of the lead under green flag pit stops. He was annoyed when the caution came out on lap 88, as the not quite 40 second lead that he'd built up over the afternoon, evaporated instantly.

On the restart, he had Darth Vader try to chase him down; with the man in black finding excellent short-run speed in the GAZ. Vader's excellent short-run speed proved to be just that, as on lap 97 he found himself under attack from Donkey Kong who is also in a GAZ, and the blue Chevrolet out front faded quietly into the distance. What ensued was Vader tucking in behind Kong, for a calculated 3rd place.

Kong had no answer to the blue Chevrolet out front and when the caution came out on lap 88, virtually the entire top half of the field came in for tyres as nobody wanted to be caught out. Probably because Hedgehog dived to the bottom of Turn 4 behind the pace car, then everyone's tactics were automatically dictated. Everyone had to follow him in, or else get caught like a sitting duck on the restart while everyone else was on fresher tyres. At narrow tracks, track position is king but at wide tracks like Ontario, that does not hold true.

Points Awarded A-Heat Race:
9 - Oglivy Hedgehog
6 - Donkey Kong
4 - Darth Vader
3 - Bruno Gourdo
2 - Kane McKane
1 - Bandit Heeler
 

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The Main Feature Race:

02M1.jpg

Tyre supplier Goodyear under instruction, have issued tyres for 20X2 which they claim can last for 175 miles. They suggested that they could make tyres last for 600 miles if they were asked to but this was subject to The Goof Management's requests. Friday practice indicated that a set of fresh sticker tyres would achieve their fastest times on lap 4 and then gradually drop off; with no obvious serious degradation in performance until about lap 35. Thus, for a 120 lap race, tyre stops were likely to be on laps 30, 60, and 90.

The opening period of the race again saw Gourdo, Kong, Vader and Hedgehog race to the front; with Kronkyet hanging around them, meant that GAZ occupied half of the top six positions. Kronkyet's car showed more speed on the short run but over the long haul, the red machine faded away.

At the first green flag cycle of pitstops on lap 31, Donkey Kong left pit road and Tse Sakamoto who had stayed out, checked up behind him. This caused Ellie McIllan to drive to the top of the racetrack where she clipped the front left quarter panel of Kurt Langer. Langer who was sideways across the track, presented a broadside to both Felix Katt and Kane McKane who centre punched the #43. Bandit Heeler collected the mess, as did Ricardo Sasquini in the Mazda and it was until Garfield Arbuckle and Byuti Nanako in 12th place who managed to avoid the carnage. Of all of these drivers, only Langer would salvage anything from the afternoon, with a spirited drive for 10th place and 3 points.


02M2.jpg

On lap 40 Donkey Kong was clearly in trouble and with smoke billowing from the rear end of his GAZ, he was in danger of being given the meatball flag unless he pulled into the pits immediately. As he wanted to get the car back to the pits as soon as possible, he took to the centre of the racetrack and hoped that eveyone else would go around.

Bruno Gourdo went to the bottom, Hatsune Mike also went to the bottom. Mari Makinami had to check up and went to the top of the racetrack. This is when Ontario claimed its second leader of the race. Kayleigh McAlpine in the #3 Irn-Bru Mercedes-Benz, saw that the bottom was crowded and went to the top of the racetrack. Unfortunately, Makinami was already up there and moving quite slowly; so the #3 slammed into the back of the the #05, causing the GTR-8 to slam into the wall and roll onto its roof.

"Are you okay?"
"Ya lass is fine but ye motor has completely gone tae shite."

Mari Makinami on the other hand was far less conciliatory and even though she was being lapped by the leaders, she felt that McAlpine should have thought through her moves more carefully.

"If you can see that there's someone in trouble, you slow down and make sure that you can get through safely."

Kong though, only had a tyre rub which was caused by grazing the wall at some point and under the caution which he arguably caused, the crew banged out the rear right quarter panel of the #95 GAZ and he was back out on the racetrack in 7th.

02M3.jpg

What ensued was a grudge match fought at 200mph.

Gourdo's Golden Fleece Ford and Hedgehog's Milly Way Chevrolet were practically indentical in terms of performance all around the circuit. Neither really had a horsepower advantage and not even KERS harvesting going into turns 1 and 3 helped either driver punch away from the other.

It also didn't help that as both drivers knew that riding right up against the wall actually cut down on wind resistance, then pulling out and trying to steak the air off of the rear spoiler and make use of side drafting, also hurt the car in front. Thus, this turned out to be not a race to see who could stay out in front but who could tactically remain behind for as long as possible and maybe score the victory in the dying embers of the race.

Three laps from home the answer made itself known in a hurry. Without warning, great clouds of blue smoke billowed from the #8 Chevrolet and Hedgehog pulled off to the side of the road; kicking the car after he'd got out. The team later revealed that in an effort to keep up with the Golden Fleece Ford, Hedgehog was banging the car off the rev limiter and eventually, one of the spark plugs just decided to burn out and distribute itself through the No.6 cylinder and through the rest of the crank case.

With no challenger directly behind him, Gourdo was able to back off and while Kong and Sakamoto clawed back the lead he'd pulled out, it was nowhere near enough. As a consolation, Kurt Langer brought home the second Golden Fleece Ford in 10th place and picked 3 points for his effort.

The bosses from Nizhny Novgorod (previously Gorky) were in attendance and they saw their machines score points for finishing 2nd, 4th, and 9th. After two rounds, four of their eight cars have scored points; which means that this is already the best year ever for their project. Motor racing was never really seen as a thing to promote a brand in the old Soviet Union but this new era of capitalism has meant that companies like GAZ have had to move with the times. The company made a formal announcement that they would return for 20X3 and that in mid-season there would be a suite of improvements to the drivetrain.

Vader's rather quiet 4th place along with Hedgehog's failure to finish, saw a change at the top of the leaderboard.

Points Awarded Main Race - Round 2:
20 Bruno Gourdo
17 Donkey Kong
14 Tse Sakamoto
12 Darth Vader
10 Hatsune Miku
8 Kerrod Edmundson
6 Dr George Claw
5 Miles Prower
4 Walter Kronkyet
3 Kurt Langer
2 Stanley Spidalski
1 Stripe Heeler

Top 20 After 2 Rounds:
33 Darth Vader
32 Oglivy Hedgehog
30 Bruno Gourdo
28 Kane McKane
23 Donkey Kong
20 Morgan Inkling
18 Tse Sakamoto
17 Kayleigh McAlpine
15 Hatsune Miku
9 Koffing
8 Stanley Spidalski
8 Kerrod Edmundson
7 Walter Kronkyet
6 Bruce Wayne
6 Robie Robie
6 Miles Prower
6 Jean-Luc Pikachu
6 Dr George Claw
4 Go Mifune
4 Bernie Bernie

Round 3 of the season will be held at Sydney Motorsport Park, in NSW, Australia on 13th Feb.
 
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Round 3 - Sydney Motorsport Park

The B-Heat Race:

Sydney Motorsport Park aka Eastern Creek Raceway is deep in suburbia; in the western suburbs of Sydney. As it is nestled next to a reservoir and surrounded by parkland, the venue has no immediate neighbours save for an industrial zone and a stack of warehouses. On the other side of the M4 Motorway is a biscuit factory; which means that along with the smells of engines and rubber, there are also breezes of malt and cinnamon.

It was not the pleasant scents of cinnamon which filled the air at the start of the race but the acrid stench of bile and acid.

03B1.jpg

Pole sitter Hochi Samyang in the #96 GAZ, having arrived at KONG from what used to be 8008 Motorsports, put the car on the pole after an unexpectedly fast lap. Having never been on the pole before, she was also not used to being in control of the start of a race once the flag dropped.

The outside of the front row was occupied by Morgan Inkling in the #41 OSKO Mazda. Officially Mazda was only running a four car team but it became apparent very early on in the year that they were passing first rate equipment and knowledge to the OSKO and Mifune teams. As it was, Inkling won the feature race at Daytona and she was consistently quick.

Inking got the jump on Samyang going into the first corner but seeing as it is a very fast left hander that gets progressively tighter, the actual number of available lines is quite limited. Inkling tried to stay as wide as possible because she knew that there was no way that Samyang would back off but Samyang in an effort to fall in behind the red and white Mazda, tagged the rear left quarter panel and both of them went skating off into the scrub. Inkling was surprisingly fine with this and Samyang was apoplectic with complaints about her own mistake over the team radio.

The car that inherited the lead was Samuel Tocquanne; who was quite happy with the #18 Chevrolet. He was expecting to have a decent evening as he felt that the lower track temperatures, which didn't quite help the mechanical grip of the car, did help the car to make more power.

03B2.jpg

As with any new season, there is a fair amount of changeover of teams and drivers, with such a large roster as 72 starters. Newcomer Strong Bad in the #404 Mercedes, driving for the Mario Brothers, soon learned that to run in a pack of cars, you need to keep your elbows out.

After starting in fourth, he was nudged and bumped by several drivers until he found himself noodling around in the mid twenties. Here, we see him trying to find a way through Nic Nat Nutmeg and Sonia Hirokawa. At the same time he was having to fend off Mad Cat and Bob Borobi.

Bad having been a boxer in a previous career, came to racing motor cars with that same fire and passion but not the learned experience which comes with this kind of sport. Knowing when to attack is as important as actually making said attack.

Up front though, Samuel Tocquanne was learning that having lots of power at one's disposal wasn't the be all and end all and by lap 38, he had been passed by Go Mifune, Jack Raymond, and Al Yankovic. He also found himself havimng to fend off Dr Ivo Robotnik, the latter putting in a decent showing.

From lap 40, most of the field changed tyres over the next three laps and after the shakeout of pitstops, the running order was Raymond, Yankovic, Mifune, Toucquanne, Robotnik and Roxy.

03B3.jpg

On lap 72 and ten laps from home, Mari Makinami in the #05 Datsun, made an incredible lunge for 18th place and hopeful qualificiation into the feature race when she was tagged in the rear by Kenichi Mifune's Mazda, and she was sent spearing off into the gravel. As the Datsun was very much bogged in a place where cars might be expected to go off in an incident (and having just done so), the caution flag was thrown out and there was a mad scramble for the pits.
As this incident happened so very late in the race, it was a matter of who would blink first and come in for a new set of tyres. A fresh set of tyres was worth almost four seconds a lap and staying out, while being useful to maintain track position, would be like being a sitting duck among a gallery of hunters with rifles.

The only driver who did stay out was Morgan Inkling; who figured that from her position of 24th, coming in for tyres wouldn't benefit her but getting what was effectively a free pass on 23 cars was worth it; including if she was like a mobile chicane. The team was correct in its calculations. The #41 Mazda led lap numbers 73 and 74 but was passed by 15 cars en route to an unexpected 16th place. 16th position pays no points but it is two places above the cut off line for the main feature race.

In what amounted to an eight lap sprint race to the flag, Raymond held the inside of the opening corner but was overtaken three corners later as Yankovic got him going through the right hander at The Valley. Mifune could find no way past and although their scrap brought them back into the clutches of Samuel Tocquanne, he couldn't make any dent on the running order either.

Yankovic was therefore left to just scoot away into the lead and there he remained. As he had taken nothing away from Ontario and had finished a paltry 11th in the feature at Daytona, a win here at Sydney was a welcome relief more than anything, in a title defence that was beginning to look dead in the water.

Jack Raymond was exceedingly happy that his rebuilt Holden retained the speed that the team always knew was in it. The car appeared to show no problems at all, after being violently jammed into the wall at Ontario and took well to the technical demands of Sydney Motorsport Park.

Points Awarded B-Heat Race:
9 - Al Yankovic
6 - Jack Raymond
4 - Go Mifune
3 - Samuel Tocquanne
2 - Dr Ivo Robotnik
1 - Marnie Roxy
 
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Rollo75

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The A-Heat Race:

03A1.jpg

Beyond the superstars who claim wins week in and week out, are the host of drivers who show up and even scoring a point is a challenge. Sometimes they are derided as 'field fillers' but they have actually put their money where their mouths are; which is a lot more than the armchair team manager.

Ricardo Sasquini had an awful qualifying session and found himself having to play with the lesser teams. He soon found though that every inch of real estate had to be fought for.

After starting 36th of 36, he made his way around Byuti Nanako in the Hoppy #86 Chevrolet quite quickly but Olivia Micina in the #16 Telecom Holden was not going to give up her spot so After he got around her coming down the main straight, he soon found that Mari Makinami in the #05 Datsun was more than prepared to use the chrome horn and put bumper to bumper.

Sasquini after passing three cars, was hung out to dry on the end on lap 3 and was ejected back to last place. The thing about an A-Race is that the entire field is made up of the two sets of top 18 from the two heat races the week before.

Although he may have had an abysmal weekend, he seemed to have had his perspective changed about the depth of the field.

"They are as competitive as anyone up front. I imagine that if you are in a struggle where every single dollar is valuable, then this only compounds your resolve to do better. I think that we forget this when we drive for the big teams."
- Ricardo Sasquini, to WITZ Radio 620am


03A2.jpg

Up front was another story. Pole sitter Kayleigh McAlpine led the field into the first corner and powered off into the evening but by lap 6, she was in trouble. She was passed by Ellie McIllan and Oglivy Hedgehog within a lap and by the end of lap 8, the amount of smoke billowing from the back of the #3 Mercedes-Benz was enough to earn the car a black flag.

She pulled into the pits, wherein the crew couldn't decide what the problem actually was; so they sent her back out again, only to have the car black flagged for a second time. The car was quietly wheeled into the garage with no immediate diagnosis.

Ellie McIllan took over the lead with Oglivy Hedgehog, Jean-Luc Pikachu and Bandit Heeler behind her. Walter Kronkyet and Dr George Claw had a vicious scrap for fifth and sixth place after Kronkyet bumped Claw off the road going into the hairpin exiting Corporate Hill.

Drs Claw and Robotnik made the switch from running Chevrolets to Kias for the 20X2 season; deciding that a clean slate would be a good thing. Unfortunately, the very slightly de-stroked Tau V8 is still a little green and hasn't yet reached its potential. Claw would come in 7th in this heat race and thus just miss out on a points paying finish.

03A3.jpg

Former champion Ellie McIllan was unphased at the malaise behind her and drove a steady race up front, to take the win. If you bear in mind that her championship was built in part upon good performances at Spa, Le Mans and Bathurst, then it is reasonable to expect that she should do reasonably well at a road course like Sydney Motorsport Park.

For this season Holden Motor Corp (now decoupled from General Motors) has decided that its works teams will run VH Commodores and the two teams that were immediately under the factory's watchful eye, both decided to run the 20X2 VJ Commodore Calais. From an engineering perspective, the amount of difference between the two models, is nil.

While Hedgehog and Heeler continued to have their scuffle behind her, McIllan was busy passing lapped traffic; with the theory that every car that she had to pass would be work for the chasing pack. In this shot we see her passing Kerrod Edmundson's Mazda.
Edmundson never really sorted out the balance of the Mazda in the weekend and reported that he just didn't have the front end bite to turn the car as late as he would have wanted to. The other Mazdas also hadn't done particularly well and apart from Rellings who would come 8th in the main feature race, the factory effort didn't really reap many rewards for the weekend.

Points Awarded A-Heat Race:
9 - Ellie McIllan
6 - Oglivy Hedgehog
4 - Bandit Heeler
3 - Jean-Luc Pikachu
2 - Tse Sakamoto
1 - Darth Vader
 

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The Main Feature Race:

03M1.jpg

The race started out with the two Holdens of Jack Raymond and Ellie McIllan trying to chase down Bandit Heeler's Ford. The two Holden teams while not receiving factory support, had quick race cars this weekend but Bandit Heeler having raced here previously in club meetings, had local knowledge which was a distinct advantage.

Raymond complained about a tightness and lack of turn on over the weekend and the team was never able to correct the problem; so he kind of fell down the order a bit. Ellie McIllan in ostensibly equal equipment, took the fight up to Heeler but the dog in blue would not give up with out serious force.

As for the two Toyotas of Bob Nikoban and Patrick Mann who qualified 3rd and 4th, their cars would also tumble down the order as the evening wore on. In his role as Team Principle of Team Yellow Toyota, Patrick Mann put it down to the 3UZ-FE V8 being about 15bhp down on power relative to the rest of the field in the cool of the evening. As the entire category features cars which broadly share the same profile to the air, then the disadvantage wasn't due to aero.

Meanwhile out front, Heeler looked smooth and almost boring as he carved the perfect lines around the back of the circuit. Sydney Motorsport Park might have two hairpins which are quite critical in making or breaking a lap time but so much time can be won or lost through the two rights and three lefts that wend around Corporate Hill.

03M2.jpg

Having been punted in the first race by Hochi Samyang, Morgan Inkling had a car which apart from cosmetic damage was still perfectly serviceable. As the heat races were on Saturday evening and the main feature race was on Sunday evening, turning around the car to go racing again was annoying but not a necessarily difficult task. The car was still good enough to qualify 9th for the feature race and by employing a sensible strategy, Team OSKO had placed the car in good enough a position to challenge for a podium position.

What could have been, nay should have been, a result to propel the #41 into the top three of the championship, was taken away by an act of pure cynicism. Stanley Spidalski in the WITZ 620am Ford was a lap down and this late in the trace, just circulating. As first and second had already passed through, the expectation was that he would move to the left of the main straight and let Inkling pass under a blue flag. Instead though, he got the order from the team to hold up Inkling so that the reigning champion and team principal, Al Yankovic, could attack Inkling for position. As blue flags are only for information and not an obligation, moving out of the way is only an expected courtesy and not something that can be enforced.

Spidalski didn't just hold Inkling up, he waited until he got to the hairpin at the top of the main straight and then moved to the outside, before letting her through and then hooking her rear quater panel; resulting in both of them taking a journey into the gravel trap.
In the long run, taking out Inkling wouldn't amount to any real change in position for Yankovic as Ellie McIllan in the Texaco Holden found some late run speed and would take away the 3rd place which had just been handed to Yankovic on a silver platter. Inkling would recover and finish 13th; which is just outside of the points.

"It's ****. It's total ****. We had a fast Osko Mazda today and this thief took away our points for no good reason at all. I tell you, this is going to stay with me for a very long time. There will be payback."
- Morgan Inkling, to U62-TV

"It is what it is. Thank you."
- Stanley Spidalski, to U62-TV

03M3.jpg

Dodgy Brothers Racing which is now in its third season, spent two seasons not really getting to grips with the Windsor 302 but found all kinds of freedom with Ford's Coyote V8. The entire Dodgy Brothers Racing team consists of only sixteen crew members; with six doggos going over the wall during pit stops and a driver and spotter per car. This Queensland based team is the most likely to have tents erected and barbecues going out the back.

Bandit Heeler, have raced at Eastern Creek in a club spec Ford Laser, knew the layout very well; including all of the little tricks to shave as much as a whole second off of a lap time. Unlike most other competitors who tried to be as smooth as possble, Heeler chucked the car into gentle slides around Corporate Hill and made use of the hard A-Compound tyres.

Meanwhile, he was pursued throughout the late stages of the race by Bruno Gourdo in the Golden Fleece Ford. Gourdo proved that he was no slouch at Ontario and he was definitely in form. Unfortunately, his Ford suffered a fuel pickup problem and the car would down to a crawl despite having 9 gallons of fuel in the tank. The crew would later attribute this to junk in the fuel which led to both gunk in the tank and gunk in the fuel injectors. Gourdo would be rewarded with nothing from the afternoon, except the chance to put the sponsor's colours on television.

Heeler on the other hand found that after Gourdo had dropped off the pace, that he was untroubled for the rest of the evening. The number 53 Ford wound out as much as a ten second lead over second placed Donkey Kong, who has enough troubles of his own in trying to keep Ellie McIlland behind him.

Meanwhile, Yankovic who supposedly had help when his teammate Spidalski ran Morgan Inkling off the road, never looked like making any challenge for the lead; which kind of suggests that having Spidalski tear up the #26 machine wasn't really worth the effort. If he had been able to hear the yells from pit lane, he would have heard the repeated screaming of colourful language from Inkling as she took up a space on the wall out front of the now stationary #41's pit bay.

Points Awarded Main Feature Race:
20 - Bandit Heeler
17 - Donkey Kong
14 - Ellie McIllan
12 - Al Yankovic
10 - Kurt Langer
8 - Darth Vader
6 - Jack Raymond
5 - Greg Rellings
4 - Bernie Bernie
3 - Tse Sakamoto
2 - Marnie Roxy
1 - Go Mifune

Top 20 After 3 Rounds:
42 Darth Vader
40 Donkey Kong
38 Oglivy Hedgehog
30 Bruno Gourdo
27 Ellie McIllan
25 Hatsune Miku
25 Bandit Heeler
23 Tse Sakamoto
23 Al Yankovic
20 Morgan Inkling
18 Kane McKane
17 Kayleigh McAlpine
13 Kurt Langer
12 Jack Raymond
9 Koffing
9 Jean-Luc Pikachu
9 Go Mifune
8 Stanley Spidalski
8 Kerrod Edmundson
8 Bernie Bernie

Round 4 will be held at Hillside Speedway on the 6th of March.
 
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Round 4 - Hillside Speedway

The B-Heat Race


The Hillside Speedway at Hillside in the State of Jefferson (being the 51st State in the Union), is a one mile high banked oval. The Goof Management had intended to go to a flat track venue like Milwaukee or Nazareth but the State of Jefferson lobbied for the race to be held here, as part of the state's Silver Jubilee. Jefferson was added to the union in 19K7 along with Puerto Rico, Columbia and Roosevelt; bringing the total number of states to 54.

This one mile venue has the turns at both ends banked at 36° while the straights are banked at 12°. Some teams tried to map their data and setup from their experience at the Matsushita Electrodrome from three years' ago but as this is a new venue, that setup data is questionable at best.


04B1.jpg

The 200 lap B-Heat race began with unexpected pole sitter Jerry Tennosuke in the #84 Calsonic trying to protect the bottom of the racetrack but as Hillside is a multi groove track, he was soon passed on the outside by Tetsuwan Atomi's Mercedes and Patrick Mann in the Toyota. Atomi is a relative newcomer, having been spotted by Mario Mario who was looking to expand his team, and Patrick Mann as a double champion has had a quiet 20X2 season to date.

For the works Datsun team, their distinct lack of results and sparce win record has become a point of anxiety for the manufacturer; who intends to either abandon the team or withdraw from it, in the same way that Mercedes-Benz did with its works team. Unfortunately the enirety of Datsun's results so far this season, are single 5th place in a B-Heat race and the 6th place that Gojira would score later in this very B-Heat Race. 3 points from 4 rounds of the championship is awful.

The real winner in the opening phase of the race was Antony D'Tigrette whose Chevrolet had great short-run speed. This did not translate into any points thought because as the race wore on, tyre wear meant that the car became increasingly loose and what advantage he had at the start dissipated.

04B2.jpg

The race was relatively quiet; with most teams opting to change tyres only once. Some teams chose to remain out slightly longer to claim track position and it is this phase which saw some really interesting developments.

Kerrod Edmundson in the Oxo Mazda chose to remain out on track and when about 20 cars dove into the pits on lap 100, he dragged Gojira in the Datsun and Michelle Oxford in the Mercedes with him. The trio would eventually come into the pits on lap 104 but their overcut meant that instead of being way down the order, Edumndson finished 5th, Gojira would finish 6th and Oxford sadly out of the points in 7th.

Mazda's 989 got a mid-season tweak when it came to KERS, after both Sakamoto and Sasquini complained that the car wasn't responsive enough to sudden demands on the powertrain. The Mazda V8 proved that it was definitely up to the task last season but over the off-season, Mazda didn't expect the jump in performance from everyone else. In this B-Heat Race, Edmundson was able to exploit this new found rush and put a length between himself and whoever was chasing him on the run out of Turns 2 and 4. On the steep banking of Hillside Speedway, he likened the experience more to a Speedcar than a Goof Type 6.2 machine.

04B3.jpg

Up front however, the race was on between Kayleigh McAlpine, Walter Kronkyet and Hatsune Miku. Kayleigh McAlpine would lead the race, carving her way through traffic until lap 186 until a series of unfortunate events.

Michelle Oxford saw her boss in the rear view mirror and attempted to give McAlpine a tow going down the back stretch. Unfortunately Miku and Kronkyet managed to get an even better tow in the draft behind Mikhail Maus and Stripe Heeler who were themselves in a battle to remain above 18th place and above the cut line for the feature. This had the effect of boxing in McAlpine and she saw her hopes of a race win evaporate while the Toyota and the GAZ sped past.

Kronkyet couldn't mount any sensible challenge against Miku, as Miku who has come quite close to winning a championship, yet again displayed her prowess at finding her way through traffic. The #00 Toyota was never again challenged for the lead and she would spend the remaining 14 laps with at least one car between her an Kronkyet. Eventually Kronkyet gave up and had to be satisfied with the 6 points for coming second.

Lost in the middle of this was Robie Robie. He had what had to have been the most boring race of his career. He wasn't fast enough to make any kid of tilt at the race win and yet sufficiently fast enough that he could more than easily hold off the looming sight of Edmundson's Mazda. The #20 Team UZKA Ford was then stripped down and quite a lot of useful data was taken for the A-Heat Race; so that Yankovic, Spidalski and Wayne might have better luck than he had.

For a very brief period of time, Miku shot to the top of the championship standings; if by only one point. Having missed out on a shot at the title at the very last round last season, the 0082 Motorsport team hopes to stay the course and finally make it to that very top rung. Every point helps.

Points Awarded B-Heat Race:

9 - Hatsune Miku
6 - Walter Kronkyet
4 - Kayleigh McAlpine
3 - Robie Robie
2 - Kerrod Edmundson
1 - Gojira
 

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The A-Heat Race:

04A1.jpg

The fastest qualifier for the A-Heat Race was Jar-Jar Binks driving the #87 Egg Kia. Binks was hired last season by Racing For The Empire and had even managed a heat win in his very first season but The Empire wasn't prepared to fund two cars as mere playthings and so released Binks with the Entitlement Contract for the entry. Binks as a free-agent, found a spot at Team Green; who then on sold the Entitlement Contract to GAZ, which ironically was where Darth Vader ended him going to after Racing For The Empire dissolved his ride as well. As for Team Green, they switched from Ford to Kia over the off-season and were hoping to receive a better degree of support than they had from Ford who seemed perpetually disinterested.
Kia on the other hand, acquired the Team MAD and Robotnik Industries teams as a semi-joined organisation. Car numbers 10 through 13 are prepped in the same shop but worked on by unconnected crews. It is unclear what kind of information that they share with each other.

Binks needn't have worried trying to defend the lead for long because Tse Sakamoto in the Mazda, pulled out of the draft coming down the back stretch for the first time and pulled Bernie Bernie with him. Sakamoto was more than happy to run up the front of the field and Bernie didn't really make an attempt to pass him this early in the race.

One of the early surprise packets was Felix Katt in the #29 Chevrolet. Katt was fired at tne end of last season by Garfield Arbuckle due to a lack of performance and the #8 ride went to Oglivy Hedgehog. This new team which Katt drives for is the result of Chevrolet needing to run 8 cars under the current supply agreement and needing to find drivers who were out of contract, Katt was the immediate choice. The team which found backing from both Exxon and General Electric remains a customer of the works team and so the parts bin was already well known.

As for Bandit Heeler and Kurt Langer, Heeler came off the back of a Feature Race win last round and Langer scored a credible 5th. Neither of those performances would carry over into points paying finishes in this race, as competition is fierce. In the end, just nine seconds would separate the entire top 18.

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Sent off like a pair of rabbits after the field stopped at the half-way point for tyres and fuel, were Bruce Wayne and Kenichi Mifune. Wayne who had qualified 6th managed to win the race off of pit row and Mifune only took on right hand side tyres, as the Mazda 989 proved to be quite kind on them.

This meant that a bunch of drivers were left to fight for table scraps including former champions McIllan. Claw and Yankovic. McIllan made short work of Sakamoto and Kong in the GAZ was more than happy to follow along. Fellow Holden driver Jack Raymond in the #π Telecom Calais didn't take kindly to being rubbed by Sakamoto and he was more than willing to return serve. Greg Rellings in the #52 works Mazda proved to be a helpful team mate and the two Mazdas buffeted the Holden; to the detriment of all three.

Dr George Claw and Al Yankovic resumed their multi-season rivalry by strangely helping each other. The two of them experimented with tandem bump drafting and although the couldn't quite make it past Kong, they were rewarded with 4th and 5th places. These two former champions are more than aware that any point is worth the effort, that nobody wins if their car ends up in a fence, and that any ally is a good ally in a field of enemies.

Fastest lap of this race went to Oglivy Hedgehog in the #8 Chevrolet. After a terrible qualifying session, he had so much traffic to fight through that making it to the front was an impossibility. Hedgehog found it especially difficult to get around Henri Cornelius' Holden and Dr Ivo Robotnik's Kia, who themselves were also in this multi-car omnifight.

04A3.jpg

Having already put Robie Robie into the main feature race with his 4th place in the B-heat, Team UZKA with Bruce Wayne leading, Al Yankovic in 5th and Stanley Spidalski in 16th, was on track to have all four cars qualify for the feature race for the first time. This tale did not have a happy ending.

In a case of what can only be described as pure unadulterated knavery, on lap 196 of 200, Kenichi Mifune got on the outside of Bruce Wayne and hooked him into the outside wall. Mifune not being content with second place, took o ut his rival for the lead in one of the most obvious and disgraceful incidents in the 28 seasons of this series.

Not only did Bruce Wayne not get the race win, the car didn't even manage to cross the line and when the caution came out, Mifune who was naturally at the head of the queue, took a very very easy win under caution. The crowd was not at all happy with this incident and showers of beer cans and plastic bottles were hurled onto the track.

Mifune did not come out of the hauler after the race and did not attend the press conference. Team UZKA stood outside of race control expecting the results to be overturned but the Goof Management did nothing.

"I've seen a lot of things in this racing business but this has to rank about the lowest. This is going to remain with me as a team boss for a long time."
- Al Yankovic, to WITZ Radio 620am

"Discipline does not mean control. Discipline means having the sense to do exactly what is needed. There will be retribution. There will be pay back. He will be made to pay."
- Bruce Wayne, to WITZ Radio 620am

All of this overshadowed the fact that Ellie McIllan drove a sensible race to come second and Donkey Kong in the GAZ who finished in third place, rose to the top of the championship standings. For GAZ, this is the very first time that they have been to the top of the championship; so this is very promising.

Points Awarded A-Heat Race:

9 - Kenichi Mifune
6 - Ellie McIllan
4 - Donkey Kong
3 - Dr George Claw
2 - Al Yankovic
1 - Henri Cornelius
 

Rollo75

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The Main Feature Race:

04M1.jpg

After the controversy of the A-Heat Race on the Saturday, by the time that 2pm rolled around on Sunday for the feature race, tensions had been brewing like a batch of overly hopped beer. Whatever the result was going to be, it would be bitter.

Kenichi Mifune put his #4 Mazda 989 on pole for the feature but perhaps a little dastardly, Team UZKA had shipped some unused crate motors overnight to Heeler Brothers Racing; wherein they fitted them to the number 53 and 54 Fords.

The Heeler brothers came up with an amazing, if troubling tactic. They choose to block both lanes and let Kenichi Mifune speed off for a few car lengths. The reasoning behind this was that if Mifune had to punch the hole in the air all by himself, then he would use more fuel in the process. A car at the front of a train, is actually helped by the cars following, as the laminar flow of air doesn't detach and this results in less drag.

Mifune led 76 laps of the race and made a pitstop well short of the expected 84 lap window. After he pitted, he was also dumped back into lonely air; which meant that after pit cycles, most of the field had overcut him and he languished in 29th position.

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The biggest losers of the whole race had to have been Donkey Kong, Patrick Mann and Dr George Claw. After Mifune came into the pits on lap 77 and with the two Heeler brothers out front, these three were the nest to dive onto pit row on lap 80. They were hoping to get the undercut and or drag multiple cars with them. Unfortunately, with the Heeler brothers controlling the race up front, they ended up getting stranded as a clump of three and their lap times suffered as a result.

Patrick Mann when questioned by local radio, let go of the reason of why he and Robie Robie came to the disagreement which would ultimately see Robie leave and join Team UZKA. Robie was unhappy at the way Mann would determine setups for the various circuits and Robie wanted far more input into how thw car was set up. Mann thought that that was an overreach from a contracted driver and Robie finally had enough.
This forced a change over the off-season at Team Yellow Toyota and the six cars which are now under the umbrella of the team, have a far more democratic degree of input than 12 months ago.

In 20X1 Donkey Kong was campaigning a Type 6.0 car which was labelled as a Ferrari 500. The car had no input from Ferrari at all and this was manifested in the fact that he scored zero points last season. In an act of desperation, Donkey Kong and Hochi Samyang who was also out of contract, applied to GAZ to drive two of their cars.
Given the events of the last fortnight however, this now leaves the works GAZs, Kong, and Project Layton in an odd position. The embargo and boycott on both Russian money and goods and services, means that severe budget holes, supply chain holes, and even the branding on the cars themselves, will need to be plugged. Eight cars, drivers and the teams connected therein, are in real trouble.

Dr George Claw's Team MAD switched manufacturers from Chevrolet to Kia after it became apparent that Chevrolet would not supply four cars. As Team MAD and Robotnik Industries are in a technical alliance, this was unacceptable.
Starting with Kia meant a fresh start but this also meant that the team had practically no data about how the engine performed at the start of the season.

Claw decided to follow Mann and Kong into the pits because he was so far down the running order that literally any gamble was worth the effort. To give up zero points in pursuit of some, is of infinite benefit.

After changing four tyres and getting a full tank of fuel, Claw hoped to go long and maybe make up places at the next caution. The gamble didn't pay off as there was no caution and this feature race ran from flag to flag under green.


04M3.jpg

Bandit Heeler and Al Yankovic controlled much of the race after the second round of pit stops, with Stripe Heeler gradually falling back down the order as other drivers made their late race charge.

The most successful charge came from Henri Cornelius and Kane McKane in the works Holdens. Cornelius pitted from 11th place and McKane pitted from 16th. They came out tail to nose and ran around in tandem for the remaining 83 laps; swapping turns at the front in order to make the fuel go longer.

The actual attack on the lead happened on lap 241 when the two Holdens who were running the top of the racetrack, had Bandit Heeler try to throw a block on them. They both moved down the racetrack and Heeler was caught by a slower car; which allowed not only Cornelius and McKane to scoot through but Yankovic caught onto the back of the pair of them and also followed though.

The final lead change came on lap 248 of 250 when McKane decided to take the low line through turns 3 and 4 and slid up the racetrack in front of Cornelius. Cornelius had to check up and McKane was able to put seven car lengths on him; which he tried to make back up but drew just short.

The win shot McKane up to 7th in the championship and Bandit Heeler's fourth place was good enough to secure 6th in the championship and well within striking distance of the lead. Yankovic's third place was about as best as could be expected from the weekend but credit where credit is due, the two works Holdens of McKane and Cornelius who rolled around the track more or mess in unison for 250 laps, drove a sensible if boring race which was rewarded with the two highest spots on the podium.

Perhaps there was some adequate payback for Team UKZA, as the only Mazda to score as much as a point in the Feature Race, was Kerrod Edmundson in the Oxo #51 Mazda. Neither of the Mifune Motorsport cars ended up doing very much in the feature race and the factory cars didn't either.

Points Awarded Main Feature Race:

20 - Kane McKane
17 - Henri Cornelius
14 - Al Yankovic
12 - Bandit Heeler
10 - Jack Raymond
8 - Kayleigh McAlpine
6 - Hatsune Miku
5 - Robie Robie
4 - Oglivy Hedgehog
3 - Bernie Bernie
2 - Jean-Luc Pikachu
1 - Kerrod Edmundson

Top 20 After 4 Rounds:

44 - Donkey Kong
42 - Oglivy Hedgehog
42 - Hatsune Miku
41 - Darth Vader
39 - Al Yankovic
36 - Bandit Heeler
36 - Kane McKane
33 - Ellie McIllan
29 - Kayleigh McAlpine
27 - Bruno Gourdo
27 - Tse Sakamoto
22 - Jack Raymond
20 - Morgan Inkling
18 - Henri Cornelius
14 - Robie Robie
13 - Kurt Langer
13 - Walter Kronkyet
12 - Kerrod Edmundson
11 - Jean-Luc Pikachu
11 - Bernie Bernie

Round 5 will be held at Silverstone on the 27th of March.
 

Rollo75

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Round 5 - Silverstone

The B-Heat Race

The configuration that The Goof uses at Silverstone is the 1949 layout without the chicanes though Maggots and Beckets, without the extra chicanes at Abbey and where Woodcote is just a corner without Bridge and the Luffields. The reason why The Goof is able to do this is that apart from having only a tenuous binding on reality, it also has access via technologies provided by MAD and Robotnik Industries, to time travel. While that in itself sounds fantastic, it is worth remembering that in past seasons, The Goof has headed to ???? in the Interdimensional Rift; which was opened up accidentally in 1987.

That tenuous binding on reality does not mean that The Goof is completely immune from it. When Russis invaded Ukraine and various kinds of sanctions where placed on Russian banks and businesses. This means that all eight GAZ entrants immediately had to find a new manufacturer and in some cases, new sponsorship.

A solution was found though, when the team principal at what was the GAZ works team, reached out to an old friend in what used to be East Berlin, and for the rest of this season and possibly 20X3, the team will be rebranded as Wartburg. Wartburg was an East German automaker from the red side of the Iron Curtain and given that the brand was vacated, there isn't anyone left to claim any kind of rights infringements. The engines and drivetrains will be supplied by Empire Electric and TIE Corp. and the eight cars will be branded as Wartburg 488s.

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It is almost a trope or a meme that something should happen on the first lap at Silverstone which throws someone's race into chaos. The track is generally pretty narrow at the high speeds mean that any bump off line is going to send someone into the fields at Towcester.

Coming out of Stowe, Chloe Ankha fluffed a gear change in her Toyota. This send a ripple of cars havign to check up behind her, which also included a lot of nose to tail incidents where cars ploughed into the rear bumper of the car in front.

Way way way down the order, Strong Bad in tghe #404 Videlectrix Mercedes-Benz, tried to take exasive action and avoid the Osko Mazda of Judge John Judd. The Mazda was sent spearing off harmlessly into the infield but the Mercedes broke a steering rod and limped around to Abbey before being pushed back behind the fence for the afternoon.

Mr Bad whose team operates its Mercedes as a customer of Mario Mario, who himself buys chassis and engines from McAlpine Motorsport, probably has the smallest budget of any of the 72 cars in The Goof. A broken steering rod of itself is not a particularly expensive part but going out early in a race and receiving an even smaller cut of the pooled prize money for finishing so poorly, hurts as much as a mechanic's bill.

5B2.jpg

The B-Heat race was sort of a Darth Vader benefit event as he sent the #77 Wartburg to the front at the end of the first lap and never even looked like being challenged. There was a bit of a scrap behind him as Mat Cat in the second of the Team MAD entries fought his way past Tse Sakamoto's Mazda but apart from that, the podium positions were done and dusted by about lap 3.

Sakamoto was quite frankly annoyed at missing the cut in the A-Heat race at Hillside and intended to right the ship of his championship run. He got held up at the start and had to fight his way past the Kia of Dr Ivo Robotnik and then spent the rest of the race trying to chase down the other Kia of Mad Cat.

Cat had not scored any points in 20X2 to this point and his car was being used as a testbed for Dr George Claw's A-Heat race later in the day. Right across the board, the Tau V8s in the Kias were well suited to the long straights where drivers opened up to full throttle for extended periods of time. Robotnik has happy enough to drive a clam race and finish in the points; not sacrificing short term gain for the possibilty of binning the car.

Try as he might though, the Mazda driver although quick, was not fast enough to make up the 2 second gap between him and the grey Kia in front of him. Cat and Sakamoto matched each other lap for lap for extended periods of the afternoon and traffic didn't really present itself as a factor. He and Dr Robotnik would trade places for a lot of the afternoon, pulling into and out of each other's draft as needed. Sometimes, finding allies on the racetrack is not a matter of which team or brand you drive for, it merely is about who is available at the time.

Another Kia would also score a point with Eggatha Robotnik coming home in 6th and opening her account for the season. As there are 72 competitors and points are only awarded for the top 6 places in the heats and the top 12 in the feature races, scoring a point is itself a difficult task. Eggatha might not yet had the outright speed to challenge for points on a regular basis but as this is only her second season, it remains to be seen whether or not she can take that next step.


5B3.jpg

The Russian Invasion of Ukraine mean that GAZ was forced to withdraw from The Goof for 20X2. As the BR15 chassis can be stripped down and built into any other branded car because of common componentry, this could have posed a problem for the team but it didn't.
In principle, Darth Vader was absolutely fine with the unilateral invasion of a sovereign state by another power looking to build an empire. As the 2IC of another empire, this was just the way of the galaxy as far as he was concerned. In this respect, GAZ was no more a manufacturer than just another contractor and Vader was able to direct various fabrication firms to supply all the parts and chassis for the team withouit any bother.

This only meant that the branding of the team had to change. The solution was to find a defunct brand that nobody would care about and ran the team under that branding without fear of intrusion. Empire Electric and TIE Corp will now supply all of the components.

This run by Vader was almost a flag to flag run. The black Wartburg showed everyone a clean pair of heels as it exited Becketts for the first time and therein led every single lap of the race. Vader was not particularly fussed about building a massive lead either. Although he had a dominating performance, he drew his lead over Mad Cat to six seconds and then no more. This shot shows Vader, followed by Cat, Sakamoto, and Robotnik, on lap 66.

Upon scrutineering after the race, a challenge was thrown down by Team MAD about the legality of the Wartburg but upon opening the bonnet, they found that most of the parts were still stamped with the GAZ logo, as they hadn't been removed from the week before. This prompted a visit by not only the former works GAZ team but also DK Racing and Project Layton, who all presented their cars at the same time. In the case of Donkey Kong's #95 entry, there was still empty chip packets and banana skins from the opening round at Daytona. No breach of the regulations was found on any of the eight cars.

Points Awarded B-Heat Race:

9 - Darth Vader
6 - Mad Cat
4 - Tse Sakamoto
3 - Dr Ivo Robotnik
2 - Jean-Paul Cassell
1 - Eggatha Robotnik
 

Rollo75

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The A-Heat Race:

5A1.jpgA1

The A-Heat race got off to a cranky start as drivers jostled for position early on. Unlike an oval, the opportunities for passing on a road course a far fewer and more precious; so track position is vital.

One of the nastier incidents of the race happened on lap 2 when coming through Club corner, Oglivy Hedgehog in the Milky Way Chevrolet attempted to dive bomb up the inside of Bandit Heeler's Hammerbarn Ford and it all went very very badly. This now infamous corner is on the face of it, a slowish right hand turn but as there is a paved section on the inside from where one of the runways at the former RAF Airbase terminates, it endows drivers with a false sense of space.

Hedgehog may have been as far back as sixth place when he attempted to charge up the inside of the cars in front, when he struck the right front quarter of Heeler's Ford; which hooked the both of them into the outside embankment. Neither car rolled over but both were wrecked so badly that they has to be retrieved by the crane crew.

"I dunno what he was doing. I wasn't even trying to defend a line. I was just minding my own business when... whooshka! We're both facing the wrong way and looking at bent cars."
- Bandit Heeler, to U62-TV

Hedgehog couldn't be reached for comment but observers in the paddock noted that he didn't even walk back to the pits and merely hid away in the back of the hauler. He was either angry or ashamed at himself or Heeler but we shall never know.

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As a result of the whole concertina ripple after Oglivy Hedgehog took out Bandit Heeler, one of the incidents that happened early was Kane McKane being clouted by Boris Andropov. Andropov pitted early and was able to salvage a place in the feature race but McKane tried to keep his place in the the top 18 and qualify for the feature race by fighting on. It was a bad decision. The Holden proved to be something of a mobile chicane and although he did end up finishing 29th, it wasn't before he annoyed two high profile drivers.

Dr George Claw took evasive action by running across the grass and was trying to fight his way back up the order. The Kia potentially had a fair amount of speed as evidenced by his teammate finishing second. However, Claw was unable to make use of the car's potential and he took far too long get around McKane. Claw would only finish 18th but just above the cut line.
Garfield Arbuckle had had a misfire that refused to be diagnosed on the Friday and put a qualifying run in, for the sole purpose of putting a time on the board. As he came upwards through the order, he encountered the back of Dr Claw and McKane and was just as annoyed at McKane as Claw was.

The two of them ended up being stuck behind McKane for 8 full laps and only managed to get around when McKane pitted on lap 34 and then suffered a terrible pit stop to add to the sadness of the afternoon. Claw would qualify for the feature but only score 1 point for coming 12th and Arbuckle who finished 19th, wouldn't even get another attempt.

This is the worst season on record for Garfield Arbuckle; having failed to score a single point from the first five rounds. Unlike other racing dynasties where the chain of succession is obvious, Arbuckle has the problem that he has eight children; none of whom are obvious stand outs to take the seat. In this race, 19th place may aa well have been like facing the abyss and diving head long into it.

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Most teams opted for a simple one-stop strategy and pitted on lap 35 of 69. Kayleigh McAlpine on the other hand, had an abysmal qualifying run and put the car on 33rd position. Realising that a one stop-strategy would achieve nothing in the race, the team opted to change from the standard A-compound tyres before the race, for the softer C-compound tyres and take the 10 place grid penalty. Realistically this meant that the #3 Irn-Bru Mercedes-Benz would start one row back and on the other side of the circuit because there are no places behind 36th.

By lap 23 and in part helped by the nonsense caused by Ogilvy Hedgehog in the opening segment, McAlpine had climbed to 11th position. She passed a bunch of cars when they pitted on lap 34 and 35 and would immediately lose all the positions that shed had gained and by the end of her pit cycle on lap 46, she was back up into 13th position and on fresher and softer tyres.
By the end of lap 60, she had found touch with Ellie McIllan's Texaco Holden; which meant that not only had McAlpine passed every single car in the race, some had the privilege/indignancy of being passed three times by her.

McIllan proved to be a more formidable opponent. Like her father, McIllan was a champion of The Goof and also like her father, the lady in black refused to give even an inch of space. Try as she might, McAlpine did not find a way around the Texaco Holden in front of her.

That is until lap 67 of 69. After a drag race down the Hangar Straight, McIllan covered the inside line going into X. McAlpine decided run deeper into X and carried more speed through the corner on the ragged edge of adhesion. The Mercedes would exit X ahead and by the time they passed through The Vale, there was no way back for the lady in black. In this Battle for Silverstone, Scottish temerity put down English grit.

The distance at the finish line was still only about a car length and on tyres which were now 34 laps old, McIllan had run out of useful tools to do the job. He last lap attempt to try something at Woodcote was in vain as even though she hugged the corner, there was not enough space to close the gap.

Points Awarded A-Heat Race:

9 - Kayleigh McAlpine
6 - Ellie McIllan
4 - Henri Cornelius
3 - Miles Prower
2 - Hatsune Miku
1 - Jean-Luc Pikachu
 

Rollo75

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The Main Feature Race:


5M1.jpg

In a surprise to everyone, the pole sitter for the feature race was Boris Andropov in the Wartburg. Owing to the recent unpleasantness in Russia and Ukraine, Andropov expressed disappointment and his livery along with the change of marque changed from GAZ to Wartburg.

The Wartburgs were quick all weekend and the suggestion for this is that they are better suited to a place like Ontario or Silverstone, with their long straights. This suggests that the team has produced a very stable car but might be less responsive at shorter tracks and twisty places.

Andropov was beaten off of the line by Miles Prower's Toyota and the two of them made off like bandits from a heist as they stole away into the distance on the first lap. What is curious is that neither of them have scored their maiden win and unfortunately, today was not the day that that would happen either.

While going through Abbey on lap 4, Andropov thought that he saw an opening which turned out not to exist. The inside of Abbey features a paved area which serves as the driveway in and out of the circuit. A tyre bundle marks the end of a wall and from the end of the grass, right through the change of direction, the drivers will use this as a sort of shortcut through the corner. Andropov hooked to the inside coming out of Club and intended to straight line Abbey as much as he could but hadn't counted on Prower who turned in on him.

The resulting contact tore a steering rod from the front of Prower's car, tore apart the suspension in Andropov's car, and the two of them speared straight on and towards the middle of the circuit. Andropov was more than worried that he'd caused the accident and their brief hug and embrace after he found out that Prower was okay, showed that no animosity had brewed here.

"He was very sorry and to be fair, if I'd been where he was, I would have gone for the move as well. We're racers. The minute that you're not trying to go for the win, you may as well pack up and go home."
- Miles Prower, to U62-TV

5M2.jpg

In the middle of Nigel Levins demolition of all and sundry in The Goof from 20K9 to 20J3, Jean-Luc Pikachu won an unexpected championship in 20J0 to break up Levins' 5 wins in 6 years. Pikachu who was driving a Red 23 Chevrolet, took home a string of third places and thus scraped by Levins for the championship by 3 points. Red 23 then promptly collapsed and Pikachu did not even have the chance to defend his title.
11 years' later, Jean-Luc Pikachu was called up by Patrick Mann after the fallout when Robie Robie quit Team Yellow Toyota and so the number 25 is back on a yellow machine in The Goof.

The season to this point had not been stellar for the electric mouse. He was able to pick up the odd points here and there but nothing brilliant had emerged from Team Yellow Toyota at all. Patrick Mann, Sticks Baja and Bob Nikoban had all failed to score points this season. This race felt different though.

Pikachu put the Toyota on a respectable 9th position for the feature race and played a waiting game. He made three spots coming off of pit row when everyone came in on lap 29 of 87 and then got an undercut by coming in on lap 57 and one lap out of sequence. He would have taken the second place there and then if it wasn't for Tse Sakamoto pulling out of the pits and forcing the issue going through Maggots.

Sakamoto now in his third season of The Goof, has not picked up enough experience to be able to hold someone off for extended periods of time. To his credit, he did manage to keep the yellow machine behind him for 26 laps. What Sakamoto was not able to do, was count on the wileyness of Pikachu who sat in the draft of the Mazda lap after lap, and was able to save fuel and reduce throttle use. Thus, when Pikachu did finally make his move going around the outside of Sakamoto going through Copse on lap 84, he did so under full power. This was not #25 passing #59 in days of yore but #25 passing #58; with Pikachu passing Levins' protégé.

Sakamoto showed a great deal of maturity by not forcing the issue and brought the Mazda 989 home in 3rd position; picking up 14 points instead of binning it and scoring nothing. After coming close in 20X1, he might now do better and bring home a championship for Mazda; which is something that his boss was unable to do. Every position matters.

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The underlying story of the day was that nobody could catch Donkey Kong and his race victory here was dominant. The Wartburg proved to be an excellent package around here and one wonders how the folks at GAZ must feel, after watching what used to be their works cars now win races under another label.

Kong unexpectedly took the lead when he watched Andropov in another Wartburg and Prower's Toyota fly off the track at Abbey on lap 4. He face some competition from Sakamoto going through Woodcote but by the end of the start/finish straight and heading into Copse, he had disposed of that challenge.

DK Racing has sort of bounced around from manufacturer to manufacturer, going from Chevrolet to Mercury, to GAZ and now Wartburg involuntarily. It is probably that brand agnosticism which has led to an organisation which can cope with wholesale changes to equipment. The arrival of Hochi Samyang from 8008 Motorsport at the beginning of the season, also brought with it the ability to look at more data and see what works across cars.

As far as the championship goes, Kong's win here throws him further out into the lead and although it might be too early to declare him the favourite, it certainly puts him in good stead. Also of note is the complete blank that Oglivy Hedgehog drew at this round. The blue #8 machine showed flashes of speed but would take home no points at all. A stumble like this, might very well prove to be the undoing of hope.

Points Awarded Main Race:
20 - Donkey Kong
17 - Jean-Luc Pikachu
14 - Tse Sakamoto
12 - Kayleigh McAlpine
10 - Morgan Inkling
8 - Dr Ivo Robotnik
6 - Ellie McIllan
5 - Stanley Spidalski
4 - Darth Vader
3 - Kane McKane
2 - Henri Cornelius
1 - Dr George Claw

Top 20 After 5 Rounds:
64 Donkey Kong
54 Darth Vader
50 Kayleigh McAlpine
45 Ellie McIllan
45 Tse Sakamoto
44 Hatsune Miku
42 Oglivy Hedgehog
39 Al Yankovic
39 Kane McKane
36 Bandit Heeler
30 Morgan Inkling
29 Jean-Luc Pikachu
27 Bruno Gourdo
24 Henri Cornelius
22 Jack Raymond
14 Robie Robie
13 Kurt Langer
13 Walter Kronkyet
13 Stanley Spidalski
13 Dr Ivo Robotnik

Round 6 will be held at the Monster Mile at Dover on 17th April.
 

Rollo75

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Round 6 - The Monster Mile At Dover

The B-Heat Race:

The Monster Mile at Dover is a one mile concrete abomination that chews up cars and spits them out. The surface is abrasive, the track is narrower than it seems and yet somehow wider than the two lanes which are said to exist, and because the corners are so steep it means that less respect is paid to the track than otherwise. At one mile long, the Monster Mile at Dover is properly the longest short track in the world. Although it is longer than Richmond, Dover feels more like Bristol or Martinsville.

The pit area is also quaint. It is big enough that the teams park their haulers inside the centre area but small enough that there aren't really any permanent structures. One of the highlights of the weekend is the annual tailgate party and cookout which is held by the works Chevrolet team. This spirit of camaraderie belies a darker truth; that Round 6 also marks the time of year when teams begin to think about hiring and firing personnel for the next season.

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The Wartburg teams who had just recently been rebranded from GAZ (following the war between Russia and Ukraine) also had a suite of new parts approved as part of a mid-year evo refresh. The most significant upgrade was a new set of lasts made for the V8 and a new set of engines cast for the teams.

The Wartburgs had been quick for most the Friday and Kronkyet was hoping to put in a good show for his new bosses (this aspect was still unclear as to who had bought what and who owned what). Kronkyet expected to start from the pole and put in a good performance to claim some points but nobody expected this. Nobody asked for this. Nobody wanted this.

On lap 11 when Walter Kronkyet was coming out of Turn 1, he made his way to the tail end of the field and would begin running into lapped traffic. Konata Izumi who was running in 36th of 36 was the first car to be encountered by the leaders and her spotters let her know that she had to move out of the way quite early.

The usual procedure for moving out of the way and letting the leaders through is to head up the racetrack so that they can go underneath but as there is a weird dip going through Turn 2 and there is a pedestrian bridge which crosses the track just after it, the exit to Turn 2 is not exactly blind but it feels smaller than the exit to Turn 4 which is more or less identical.

Because of the dip, the racing line coming out of Turn 2, throws the cars to the top of the racetrack and so Izumi was ordered to try and move to the bottom of the track to allow the chasing horde to pass her on the outside. She duly did just that but Walter Kronkyet in the Wartburg was impatient and tagged her in the rear. Izumi was turned up the race track and across his nose and his car suffered extensive damage on the right hand side.

The biggest injustice out of this was that Izumi's car was ruined after striking the inside wall but because Kronkyet only had a glancing blow with the outside wall, not only did he retain the lead on the front group after a heap of cars came to pit row but he would go on to win the day after this forced stop put him and indeed most of the top 10 onto a two stop strategy.

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Most of the middle of the race went on incident free. Professor Herschel Layton found that he had a Wartburg with a misfire and had to retire. To add to the works Datsun team's woes, Jerry Tonosuke's #83 Datsun blew a head gasket and spectacularly threw a cloud of smoke over the race on lap 104. And all the while, Walter Kronkyet was reestablishing a lead over Jack Raymond and Bandit Heeler.

Immediately behind the leaders and just outside the points, a very rude bar fight of a battle was taking place. It started when Shota Choujin roughed up Bob Nikoban's Toyota heading out of Turn 2 and under the bridge, on lap 184 of 200. Nikoban, who refused to concede the position, decided to bang the side of the white Datsun heading down the front straight, just to let him know how annoyed he was. This let through Bobo-Bo Bo-Bobobo in the Chevrolet; who was working with his teammate and Go Mifune also made up a ton of time while the gaggle of cars in front ran over each other.

This sixteen lap bar brawl, wouldn't eventually be resolved until the chequered flag fell and by that stage, both Nikoban and Choujin's cars had been torn up and they dropped out of the fray, Byuti Nanako couldn't quite close the gap to the two ahead, and Bobo-Bo Bo-Bobobo and Go Mifune would claim sixth and fifth respectively.

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Sometimes the most important story of a race is what happens further down the order. Kronkyet was forced off cycle and would go on to take the heat win but the cars that didn't change to a two stop strategy and held out for track position, suffered.

Ricardo Sasquini's abysmal year continues continuing. Having only scored 2 points thus far, then any strategy which wasn't what the leaders were doing was worth the gamble in his eyes. It worked for a while when the ten cars ahead of him all pitted but he would spend the rest of the first half of the race as a sitting duck and while he led a ton of laps, the lead would instantly disappear when he pitted on lap 101. Oglivy Hedgehog, Judge John Judd and Bruce Wayne went with him and these four shuffled back into the early teens in the running order.

The question of what would happen with the plucky little Italian at Mazda seems to have been answered with something unpleasant. He simply isn't as fast as he thought. Sakamoto who was promoted and drives the #58 machine, has outshone Sasquini for some time now and with Greg Rellings in the #52 also putting in adequate performances, Sasquini is having a rough time of it.

During the race though, Judd bruised the Turn 2 wall while trying to block Mario Mario. This pushed in the front right quarter panel and that cut a tyre. He came into the pits and repaired the damage but could only come home in a paltry 26th and way below the cut off line.
After the race, Sasquini was seen outside o the haulers of Team OSKO and speaking with Judge John Judd. As the two Mazda teams have a technical alliance, of itself this isn't really an issue but if their discussions revolved around personnel issues, then this might be a piece in the silly season puzzle which is yet to be placed down.

Points Awarded B-Heat Race:

9 - Walter Kronkyet
6 - Jack Raymond
4 - Bandit Heeler
3 - Bruno Gourdo
2 - Go Mifune
1 - Bobo-bo Bo-Bobobo
 

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